My life seems to be filled by people thst have nothing better to do then mess with my peace of mind. I’ve been made out to seem jealous, homosexual, Satanic, retarded, and a spazz so many times. They know exactly what they are doing. And the means they are doing this by is very public and embarrassing.
It has taken a toll of my mindset, relationships and my ability to work. This is far past my mental illness issues. Some of the things I’ve dealt with from these people are truly devastating and derogatory. I don’t seem to have a way to back myself up because they strike so deeply so fast that I’m utterly confused and taken back. But they see it as I’m the enemy or a pussy. They seem to have all the support and fear no consequence.
It’s quite childish and anyone in my position would understand this.
They somehow have a way of making something small or even non existent have so much magnitude that it crippling.
It’s a game in tired of playing. All they want to do is hinder my personal life and leave me feeling exposed and in a loop.
I Don’t care what these people believe and say and do as long as my reputation and who I truly am and what i stand for rises above their lies and deceit.
You’d have to take a walk in my shoes to really know what I experience. I am tethered to something that disrupts my natural harmony of my body, soul, and mind.
Seeing how misunderstood and wrongfully made out to be by these people in my community is very painful.
The community I live is is so full of busy bodies you can’t take a dump without someone having an opinion of it. Bare in mind I’m in my 20s and some people have refused to grow up.
Have you actually witnessed these people doing these things? Have they done it to your face? Or are they lurking in the shadows and Gossiping away from your presence?
This s like it sounds like it might be a half and half thing. While people do talk and give opinions, i think you are suffering some amount of paranoia.
i only say this because you said they say things to your face. That people make bad remarks to your face, it is reasonable to see a problem there. However, you said in ways you dont understand.
There’s this book called The Four Agreements. Might be too new agey for this forum. But one of the “agreements” is never take anything personally. Key words “never” and “anything”. Even if it’s to do with you, it’s not, it’s other people’s problems.
True. Ya know everyone has their opinions in life and say things under their breath. Alot of the sruff thst gets to me now used to not. Like certain types of interaction. When my life slowed doen is ehen it seems like there was more space for these people to have input
I get this frequency that comes to me that seems like someone prying into my personal atuff. I think if I just continue to block it out and not pay attention it will ease up. Alot of these things only come up at certain times.
OK your saying you get a frequency. This really sounds to me that you are suffering from Paranoia. In the Schizo world that means delusions of persecution. It’s possible you may have heard actual persecution and this could have created something more in your mind. You have a disease and you need to recognize that. Otherwise you’re not gonna get better. You need to face that you’re experiencing a delusion.
I sounded like this a few years ago. I sounded very similar. My family explained to me a million times that it was my disease talking and nobody was doing anything to me. It took me a couple of years to find out they were right.
Have you mentioned any of this to your psychiatrist/psychologist? And when is your next appointment? I know earlier you were saying that you couldn’t find any quiet time to sort of recoup. Could the stress of that be aggravating your problems?
I complelety understand. I feel like this, this is a majority of my illness. Its really difficult and puts me off everything. Im seriously considering meds again. I just left my ex fiance of 9 years because of my illness was more symptomatic with him than living closer to my family. I worry if ive left a really good man. I feel for you and as real as it seems and as hurtful as it feels its probably not real and if it is, it really doesnt matter, because your happniess and peace matter most of all. You cant do social activities in a city area with friends or family? Sending prayers. I would never wish this on anyone.
