Hey guys. Asking for advice regarding a friend. She stopped her therapy and antidepressants this spring because she was feeling much better. But since then she has been almost consistently complaining about feeling tired, making random accusations against me and other friends, getting into fights with loved ones, and becoming very isolated. At first I was really frustrated with her, because I was going through a pretty major health crisis and expected her to be there for me. But I am starting to improve, and now I see she is likely seriously struggling. This isn’t her usual behavior, or at least, it hasn’t been since she started meds. Does anyone have any advice for how I can approach the topic with her?
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Gee Ninja, this sure is a tough one.
What’s the name of that one book? “I’m Not Sick and I Don’t need Help” ?
That might be a good resource to help you.
I know one of the tactics described in the book is to say something along the lines of, “Well don’t the meds at least help you sleep?”
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Hm. Tricky. Nobody wants to hear that they are struggling. But you could just be upfront with them and say “hey. Ive noticed youve been struggling lately. Is there anything i can do to help?”
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My best friend has bipolar and borderline personality disorder. She got on meds and did an intensive year long DBT program. After quitting her job and not working or having friends for 10 years, she finally started feeling better and made lots of friends, including me, and got a job.
But over the years she took her meds less and less often. She says she just doesn’t like to take meds.
She started meeting up with strangers on the internet for casual sex and got multiple sexually transmitted diseases. These periods were followed by staying at home and calling in sick and not working.
I gently described her behaviors to her and why I thought it came with her untreated bipolar.
She disagreed and said she no longer believes she’s mentally ill. She is now not working and is staying home most of the time.
Basically, you can have a heart to heart but your friend might not listen. Be willing to help your friend, but understand you may mot be able to help at all
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I would tell the friend that she is getting abusive, violent and aggressive and all her friends turn away. Are you sure what you are doing and refuse professional help ? And it would be tragic as your friend to lose you in this way to unknown addresses.
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