Frankly, with all that's going on in my life

…I’m overwhelmed and sometimes have urge to just give up.

I’m on so many meds, I have serious issues, I have other health issues eg a cyst and bad teeth, I don’t know if I will ever succeed at normal adult things like getting drivers license and working and being independent. I rely on my husband for money and getting around and a house and food and clothes and books and meds etc.

I don’t have a life of my own. I’m 38 tomorrow and it feels like I’m turning 78 and I have an 18yr old mind.

I live in my past especially years I first got sza. I dream at night of my past imaginary friends, school and hospital admissions. I lie awake thinking about what my life could have been. I’m a shadow in the night. The spirits are there. At least Sarah is good!

But seriously, I sometimes just want to give up. What is there for me anymore?

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Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Just manage your symptoms and health for now. That should be your priority.