…I’m overwhelmed and sometimes have urge to just give up.
I’m on so many meds, I have serious issues, I have other health issues eg a cyst and bad teeth, I don’t know if I will ever succeed at normal adult things like getting drivers license and working and being independent. I rely on my husband for money and getting around and a house and food and clothes and books and meds etc.
I don’t have a life of my own. I’m 38 tomorrow and it feels like I’m turning 78 and I have an 18yr old mind.
I live in my past especially years I first got sza. I dream at night of my past imaginary friends, school and hospital admissions. I lie awake thinking about what my life could have been. I’m a shadow in the night. The spirits are there. At least Sarah is good!
But seriously, I sometimes just want to give up. What is there for me anymore?