Frankly, with all that's going on in my life

…I’m overwhelmed and sometimes have urge to just give up.

I’m on so many meds, I have serious issues, I have other health issues eg a cyst and bad teeth, I don’t know if I will ever succeed at normal adult things like getting drivers license and working and being independent. I rely on my husband for money and getting around and a house and food and clothes and books and meds etc.

I don’t have a life of my own. I’m 38 tomorrow and it feels like I’m turning 78 and I have an 18yr old mind.

I live in my past especially years I first got sza. I dream at night of my past imaginary friends, school and hospital admissions. I lie awake thinking about what my life could have been. I’m a shadow in the night. The spirits are there. At least Sarah is good!

But seriously, I sometimes just want to give up. What is there for me anymore?


Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Just manage your symptoms and health for now. That should be your priority.