Yesterday that was the affirmation card I pulled. Spent all day trying to contact support services for employment transportation etc. and I just couldn’t find any resources. I think the covid relief for people seeking employment has expired and I never knew about it. I called about 5 numbers have a list of ten like the DHHR, Department of Labor, etc. but everyone just says call a different number no one had any actual answers. I asked if they offered vouchers or some kind of transportation assistance in areas without public transportation and the only outlet was a religious volunteer site that isn’t that active.
Then I got that suspension for posting about CMT as a possible link to schizophrenia. I’m glad it was removed and I’m able to post again…and then my dad came home and everything seemed fine, he started making dinner and I told him about how the attorney said my SSI case is finished and I could either start the process all over again or find a job, and that she thought i could find a job working from home or in hospitality. i asked him for a loan so that I could get on my feet.
He said no, and then he said you need to come up with a plan. I told him my plan about taking classes and paying him back and he started throwing things and screaming…so its my fault he flipped out apparently because I asked for a loan and he said no and we argued. My mom told him to leave, she hates the abusive yelling…it really upsets me because I always think he’s going to attack me so I slept with a knife next to me and locked my doors in case he came back and flipped out.
Then I said a bunch of stuff I dont mean and called him and confronted him about hiding his house from me for the past six years and he said its because Im a theif basically and he doesn’t trust me. I said then why dont you hide your wallet and keys when you’re at the house like every day…it makes no sense to me. Maybe he’s having an affair. And he’s been trying to quit smoking which makes him angry and psychotic. But its still no excuse for how he treats me for no reason.
thanks for letting me vent Im exhausted and depressed today
I dont remember ever doing that. Before he said that it was the people I associated with. I also said I have four months clean and he argued with me and said no you dont you have three months clean. I think its because my dad is off the nicotine patch he has a serious addiction to smoking and it makes him mean and angry when he doesn’t have them.
I feel bad for you. You don’t seem like you’ve had a loving, nurturing environment to grow up in. I hope you can find away to get some support to get to a job so you can work towards your independence and create a positive environment to be in.
There has been a lot of stress…but I cant start working without transportation unless I find an online job and I just feel so beaten down today. I felt like him arguing my clean date was him trying to get me to relapse I dont know it just really hurt. I think 3 months is pretty good…and I wasnt actively using I overdosed and almost died.
3 months is awesome. No one can take that from you. You did that. And in your heart you know it’s true and it doesn’t matter what your father wants to believe.
the attorney said because I was able to go to college and I worked some at a warehouse in the past and because Im young and 32 the gov. doesnt want to have to support someone whose young and has a disability
not right now. I can communicate but i cant find any jobs…but to qualify they want me to prove i can work and have 40 work credits where i paid taxes…its like they hate people who have disabilities or struggles…my dad doesn’t think I can work.
My dad was nicer when he was young and poor…I was thinking its like he threw his whole life into his work and thats all he does or cares about. I wish he had never been successful because now thats his source of pride…wealth/money changes people especially if you let it define you.
I wish but Im not in town Im in a residential area thats not in walking distance to town, my next step would be to contact HUD and move into a town or city so that I can use public transportation. I was up for a new place but that was right when covid hit so my dad never dropped off the paperwork.