Antipsychotics make me less religious and weird. They also have stopped me from believing I was cracking codes for the government. They don’t stop me from being paranoid or supposedly delusional. I’ve tried 10 APs so far. Is this as good as it gets? I’m scared leaving my home. When I meet people I think they’re in on it. Some people I’ve known a few years are in on it. Does this mean I’m treatment resistant and will never get better? I was going to try to work from home but the men will watch me doing my work and that will distract me and keep me from paying good enough attention to details. I know they read what I’m writing on this site but I need the site for support so I do it anyway. Will they ever go away and leave me alone?
did u talk to ur pdoc and talk about the dose, or adding AD? and how long hv u been taking the medicine?
@schizophrenick I’ve been on APs for 4 or 5 years now. I’ve been on Abilify for 5 weeks. My current pdoc doesn’t like people taking more than 1 AP, but maybe in my case she’ll change her mind. I don’t know.
maybe that’s anxiety , what if u try to wind off the medication gradually? i dun see any point to stick to the medication if u have been taking them for 4/5yrs but it still not work. Or maybe the dosage are not strong enough? i dun know, what if u consult another pdoc for that
In my area, the only drs that don’t forcibly keep you in the psych ward for being delusional are the county psychiatrists. I’m sticking with them because I don’t want to be admitted to and stuck in the psych ward.
why 10 aps in 4/5 years , i think u shd give more confidence /time to the med if u take them
Do you believe the goverment is harassing you? me too. Ive got a lot more paranoid since I was beaten by the police when they tried to tie me and take me to a mental hospital, a lot of strange stuff happened that night, I think I made it even worse. I was beaten and then I said I was an intelligence agent to scare the cops because I thought they were going to beat me again, now that I think on that I think it was desesperate, I dont know what was going to happen to me
@Alan96 The men are former military who now work for the gvt. They thought I was an intelligence agent because I thought I was. Now they want information from me. They’re waiting for me to be active again so they can catch me making a mistake and they’ll question and torture me when they do.
Well I used to think these kind of stuff, I always try not to think about it. I guess nothing is gonna happen to us
@LilyoftheValley I feel the same way you do
I think everyone is in on my illness
I think they label us schizophrenic so we lose our credibility and no one will believe us when we’re trying to tell someone what is really going on
I think they read all my posts and read my phone and have cameras and bugs and tracking devices on my house and car
But I’m like you I need this online place here to communicate and have some kind of friendship and mutual feeling that I’m not alone
Yes. We’re going through the exact same thing @Cindy10
You’ve got to realize that the vast vast majority of people just don’t care. They’re embroiled in their own lives without so much as a thought to spare about you or your affairs.
Honestly I think everybody’s just going about their day and very, very few people even know who I am. I’m just trying to find my piece of pie in this life and learn to enjoy the flavor, for the next fifty years before I die. That and maybe finding medicine or a routine that stops me from hallucinating.
And I’m gonna try a tuna melt next time I’m at a sandwich shop.
The men came into my work repeatedly and they came into restaurants I went to as well as the movie theater. @agent101g
The things you say remind me a lot of the things that happened to John Nash. I remember he had people coming for him, and thought he was cracking codes. That sounds really scary, I’m glad I don’t deal with that. Hope things get better.
For me, it was all about finding the right med. I’d been on Geodon, Haldol, and Abilify before starting Zyprexa earlier this year. Haldol controlled my auditory hallucinations but not my severe paranoia and “delusions.” I was in bed 18 hours a day in a fog and had no quality of life.
Now the Zyprexa has completely controlled all my positive symptoms. I was really hesitant to make the change from Haldol, but I’m really glad I did. What med are you on, and how long have you been on it? Could it be that you just need to try a higher dose? 10 APs is a lot, but maybe there’s something out there you haven’t tried yet. Maybe you just haven’t found the right med yet.
I understand completely the idea of being watched and followed, it was my main delusion until the Zyprexa wiped it out. It’s a full-time job just fighting the delusion.
John Nash didn’t have men showing up at his work and harassing him. I did. Because the men thought I was an agent too. And Patrick told me things about the men. I need to find his pic. He’s real and so are the men who follow me.
@LilyoftheValley I’m in your boat too. I feel I am treatment resistant as well, I’ve tried countless APs alongside therapy.
Best advice I can give you is improve your cognition and anxiety, life will be just a little bit better.
Much love
I think they depend on people like you
never suspecting a thing and trusting everything
I’ve had the “everyone is watching me, and my life is a show that millions are watching” hallucinations. They’re just hallucinations. Almost no one actually cares about my life, and why should they unless I am providing value to others via some kind of work?