First delusion? Mine was I had HIV

I’ve thought I’ve had it before though I knew it was kind of impossible for me I couldn’t shake the thought

I remember my delusions created these people in my life who i never met but thought existed and were always nearby.

I essentially thought I was like the main character from the book “1984” after reading it a few months before. Also that an unknown organization was monitoring me through mirrors.

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I threw away all of the mirrors in my house for that very reason :pensive:. There is still a bathroom mirror though. For some reason that one was okay.

I thought my high school was trying to get me and made this intricate plot to screw with my head. That eventually umbrellaed into the universe was this whole system created for me to screw with me. Then i realize its probably not true. The universe isn’t trying to get me, it just doesn’t like me. Though i guess my first delusion was when i was younger and thought i could tell what other people were thinking and i would say what i thought they were thinking. Like id say “yea i know (what they were thinking).” Then there was one about thinking my dogs were gods when i was 14 and were watching me and guiding me. My delusions aren’t that creative i guess and isn’t possible someone without SZ could have those same thoughts? Are those actually delusions or just regular thought? One of the only things I find that seperates me from the rest is i took action on some of these thoughts (suicide). And that i hear voices sometimes when im not on meds.

My first delusion that still haunts me to this day is that my exboyfriend who is a Freemason had learned through his meetings how to control my mind through telepathy and MK-Ultra and had forced me through mind control to be his girlfriend for about three years. It’s really messing with my mind because he is not someone that I would normally date. He was very overweight when we got together and is not an attractive individual. It’s easy for me to get carried away being paranoid that he caused me to get schizophrenia and that we were not a legitimate couple.

Another one of my first delusions was that I was communicating with people, especially my ex, through music and song lyrics. I also thought he controlled the weather. I thought that when he was angry that he would make the wind howl and cause thunder.

I dated another guy later on for a short period of time and got convinced that he had herpes and gave them to me. He did have a rash, but I got tested after I was with him and found out that I was clean. I was paranoid for months though.

That’s too bad, Jimbob. When I shared a needle with a hooker and her boyfriend, I thought there was a good chance that I had HIV. I went to my local clinic within a week and got tested and I got my results back in two weeks. I tested negative.

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I thought i am like lord Krishna. Every women wants to sleep with me.i am the alpha male of the world. My phone is getting taped by women. My ex girlfriend wants me back

I’m glad you were concerned about your nephews, even if it was unnecessary. My first delusion was that people were trying to get me to kill myself. I took off to Texas. I bought a .22 auto handgun. I wasn’t going to walk in some place and open up, or anything like that. My thinking was that when they saw I wasn’t going to commit suicide they would send somebody after me.

I think the first was that I had figured out how the universe came into existence.

I had a similar delusion about two years into my illness.

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At one point I had an extremely strong delusion that I had leukemia. I’ve had chronic nosebleeds my entire life and never thought anything of it but once I developed SZ, I was certain that my nosebleeds were a symptom of leukemia. I had that delusion for about a year and that whole year I was in and out of doctors offices and I was crying all the time about how everyone was “letting me die of cancer.”