I don’t know what is happening to me… but I am finding it hard to do simple things.
I have a wash every morning because otherwise I feel like a tramp but that is the biggest of my daily achievements.
I have to force myself to eat meals because I have no appetite. And if I skip meals, I end up binging which is horrible.
Even watching shows on Netflix is hard… I lose focus and concentration after about 10-20 minutes. Same goes for other activities like reading, drawing, tidying, socialising, listening to music, working out etc.
When I’m not doing any of these things, I just stare into space and it’s like I’m not even here. I forget all of my surroundings. I could be staring at my wardrobe but my brain is not seeing my wardrobe. My brain is controlled by someone else. It is either blank in these moments or filled with racing thoughts. Voices telling me I’m going to be a murderer or I have to do something to shut my brain down completely. It is horrible.
My mind feels so static still even though I’ve been drinking 2+ litres of water for the past week. Every afternoon, I feel like fainting and my head just spins.
Someone is f****** with my mind and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Ouch. My condition is not as bad as your own, and like not exactly the same. of course this is something to speak witha doctor about first off.
I dont know if any of this will help, and i could be misunderstanding the severity of your symptoms. but some of your list sounds just a bit like my own.
When staring into space (wardrobe) and having racing thoughts, can you give yourself 3 chores that take 5 minutes each? Can you realize and yank yourself out of blank staring and thinking? When i catch myself doing that I stop immediatly and go do something productive for 5 minutes. Doing this"gets me out of my own head" . It makes me stop thinking about what ever it is i was thinking about or pre-occuppied with.
I am also wondering if you not staying pleasantly occupied is making you feel like voices have more control latey??? I could be totally wrong about this part, but if you really do think your not in control of youself it is best to tell your family or doctor.
Dizziness/faint feeling: If you sleep or lay in a bed or recliner a lot it can have a big affect on your heart and its ability to adjust to us doing simple things such just getting out of a chair. (bloodpressure) Try setting an alarm for once every other hour during the day. Use the alarm to remind yourself it is time to pick an item from the activity list. These easy activities that only take 5 to 15 minutes to complete may improve the faint feeling and "“get you out of your head” so that you feel voices have less control.
Some of what you describe sounds like the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. I’ve gone through stuff similar to what you’re experiencing. I remember at school when I had a little, simple assignment, and I had to do just a little work to get it done, I would put it off to the very last minute, and agonize about it the whole time. It’s a suckee thing to do to yourself. I know how hard it is to make yourself do things, but you would probably be happier if you just did them.
I think it will be good for me to make a to-do list but ironically, I don’t feel like I have the thought capacity to do that right now haha.
Honestly, I feel like a puppet on strings.
Maybe I’m expecting too much from myself. Doing short activities sounds more doable than spending hours on things like I’m used to forcing myself to do.
Yeah I do feel happier when I just do things. Sometimes I still zone out when I force myself to do things. E.g. putting clothes away into my wardrobe, I’ll randomly just sit down on the floor, stare at a piece of clothing for like 10 minutes without even realising.
No, nothing has changed recently. I have started taking my SSRI properly, sleeping well and having a better diet but surely those things would have a positive effect on my functioning?
I think Macy has got it right. Maybe if you just sneak up on a chore, and do it a little bit at a time, you can get it done. The main thing is how you feel about it. Don’t hate yourself because you’re subject to the negative symptoms of this disease.
Ok. now we are rolling.! set the alarms on your phone yet? Dont worry about being late, such as the skin care routine, that you did do it that day is what matters! practice makes perfect.
I don’t have schizophrenia. Pdoc said I have anxiety and apparently I have hallucinations & delusions to help me cope with exams even though they finished 3 months ago and have got worse since.
I told him I find it hard to function but he said I am high functioning because I did well in my exams (somehow!). I think I only did well because I had 2 years of intense study behind me and I have a good memory.
Are you taking medication for your symptoms?
Are you doing any sort of therapy?
Are you doing CBT?
Do you have a recovery diary?
What coping strategies are you using?
I won’t be having any of the first three for a while because the people I see from the psychosis team are going on holiday.
I am not sure about coping strategies. Sometimes talking to people helps. Comfort eating when I have an appetite. Listening to uplifting music. Counting to 10 in French or other languages.
coping stratagies are important. An example of a coping stratigy is the quick activity list and alarm we just posted about. A coping stratagy is any simple thing or habit we can do independantly to help ourselves.
