Fighting mania

DX'd - Other
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It was like a switch was flipped. Everything was “normal”…then I went to take my bedtime dose of 400 mg Seroquel that helps me sleep and suddenly it was like taking a sugar pill. 0 effect. Did not make me sleepy. That was when I realized I was hypomanic.

I have had to start taking extra meds to knock myself out at night because otherwise I want to stay up all night doing stuff, but that is how I get pushed into full mania, when I stop sleeping, so I have been fighting hard to get good rest.

I am impulsive and have been buying way more books than I can read at a time and way more videogames than I can play at a time. Thankfully they were all cheap this time or I had extra birthday money so I wasn’t breaking the bank.

When I get into an activity I basically get the equivalent of ADHD hyper fixation and get very irritable if disturbed. I have been spending time apart from my husband because of this.

At the same time I suddenly realized that I was pretty sure me being the avatar of a goddess was a delusion. It made me question my entire reality I had established for myself during my last major psychotic episode. Everything fell on its head. I had to figure out who and what I was again. I had to figure out what of my spirituality was spirituality and what was delusional content.

So…it is a tough time for me right now. I let my doctor know about the hypomania and he said my mood was still too unstable on my current meds so he started me on lithium as well. But I am on just a starting dose currently so it’s not doing so much yet.

Summary: Current update on my status: In a hypomanic state trying to avoid going into full mania if possible, and having to reform my entire view of reality and spirituality now that I am finally coming out of my year long delusion of being the avatar of a goddess. It’s a lot :disappointed_face:

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I don’t have any experience with mood disorders.

But keep in contact with your doctors.

I hope you’ll be ok.

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The biggest thing is getting myself to get sleep at night. When I start losing sleep I go full manic and start thinking I don’t need medication. Psychosis quickly follows.

It took me a long time to gain awareness of my mania. I used to think my doctor made a mistake in diagnosing me with schizoaffective bipolar type. Eventually I learned how to recognize it and that has helped a lot. My husband is keeping an eye on me too. Sometimes he realizes I’m on episodes before I do.

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It can be really tough to manage mania, if the treatment also requires a mood stabilizer, as they all make you gain weight, make you go bald, etc…I am schizoaffective- Bipolar, but fortunately my AP combination treats all my symptoms.

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I usually don’t experience much mania and need to get sleep at night or I won’t function. I think most of my normal state is that I’m pretty mellow unless like today I hear mean external voices and feel a debilitating presence in my body which makes me go insane.