To be fair I only believe I get hypomania not full blown mania, after working in psych hospitals I am painfully aware of the difference.
But regardless it is really rough. On the bright side, I feel like I have energy and I am able to focus better, I have motivation to do things, and all that is not common for me. On the negative side my mood is absolutely all over the place, most frequently I’m snapping between being very happy and excited feeling to immensely irritable over the tiniest things. I cant seem to get my spending under control. I keep telling myself i cannot afford to freely spend money right now and then I go out and spend 500 dollars on a fish tank for my fiance. My credit card bill is terrible and i have currently no available income to help pay it off.
In addition to this I am experiencing a strong aversion to sleep. There is no good reason why, it’s just like all of a sudden i have strong FOMO and just dont want to sleep because theres so much i could be doing instead. But the lack of sleep is making me psychotic too so ive been paranoid, i locked myself in the bathroom this morning because i thought someone had broken in. The other night i had a full blown panic attack while being attacked by the demons, it was so scary. Last night i thought the lady in my asmr video could see me and was interacting with me personally and that i could feel her energy. After having gotten like 5 hours of sleep i am now questioning that.
I feel so overwhelmed. I dont know what to do. The zoloft helps with my irritability and racing thoughts but it just feels like what i am on right now is not strong enough. I need to reach out to my pdoc again
summary: I’m full of energy, very easily irritated, spending recklessly, not sleeping, getting psychosis symptoms now too, I am scared. It’s like I am aware all this stuff is bad but can’t stop. I’m going to call my doctor as soon as they open today.
Sorry your going through that. I had a couple hypomanic episodes last year.
The crash after isnt too nice.
Hope you can be productive and control your spending in the meantime.
And if possible to avoid the things that trigger the irritability. I know its pretty tough to do that but when im like that id just tell my gf i need to be alone to avoid lashing out
Do you think zoloft or the weed edibles destabilized your mood?
Yeah it has been entirely impossible to avoid irritants because everything irritates me unfortunately. But i have done what you did and tried to be as patient with my fiance as possible and explain my mood is not because of him and walking away when i need space.
I am terrified for the crash and have been thinking of that a lot. Based on my past history it is probably inevitable. I am hoping if we boost my meds enough it will at least just be a mild depressive episode.
It is for sure the edibles. The mania has been amping up well before I even started the zoloft, and since starting the zoloft i have actually noticed a slight improvement, though my dose is still too low and i havent been on it long enough for it to really be doing much currently. Another reason im sure it is the edibles is because i have not had mania like this in 5 years (note i have been on zoloft before and it did not cause this issue for me at all) and the last time this happened it was because i took a med, wellbutrin i suspect, that triggered it. So this is not normal for me, and the only novel thing in my life was the edibles. And i was using a ton of them and they are known to aggravate mania. I sadly do not think I will ever be able to use them again, even at the low doses for sleep i was talking about. I was dumb to think I’d be an exception to how thc affects those with my disorder.