Fell off the wagon

Made a romantic gesture to the nieghbours daughter - and got knocked back. It was just for a coffee! And knowing the father is constantly in and out of prison, offered to be a father figure to them, cos i want a family to look after. So generally embarresed myself and came across as a twat. She was very kind about it - and thanked me for my generosity in giving the lil’ ones easter money. BUT ive picked up the cider again. Im ashamed.

Ive got my 121 therapy starting tuesday, and ive gotta be sober - or im off the hearing voices clinic course. Ive chucked the beer down the toilet - but im angry with myself for drinking again :frowning:

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I have a hard time quitting drinking. I don’t drink too much but the last time I drank 6 days out of the week. That’s too much.

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Don’t worry, setbacks happen. The important thing is you recognised it and were able to stop it.

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@Pikasaur

Yeah im back on the Yorkshire Tea. Feeling cranky but i usually do when my jab is due. Getting it on the 30th. Done 400mg Quietiapine but still awake - its 10.30 pm here. Wanna sleep :frowning:

@Pikasaur is right, it’s a setback. It doesn’t have to turn into binge drinking or heavy drinking. I’m sorry; I can’t remember your story; were you once an alcoholic? Maybe you made a mistake with the neighbors but everybody embarrasses themselves. It might be fixable.

@77nick77

Yes i am an alcoholic. And apart from yestersday only been dry for a couple weeks. Its starting to mess with my head - the paranoia is bad - but im also due my depot on the 30th, so i think im lacking drugs in my body. Im considering phoning the crisis team, cos im not sure i can cope over the weekend. My nieghbour was very understanding, its a good job they know me. I keep thinking the police are coming to arrest me - i really dont know - so ive put the wardrobe in front of the door.

I really dont think im too well. :frowning:

I have never drunk to make myself feel better. That would be a slippery slope.

You always risk something like that when you reach out to other people. Chalk it up to experience. Live and learn. If the alcohol is making you get out of control and causing you to get into trouble you need to quit, for your own sake.

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Have you tried AA? There are other ways to get sober but AA is free and it’s worked for thousands of people. A bonus of joining AA is that it’s a very social program, lots of friendly people in meetings, lots of laughter, you hear lots of great, inspiring funny, crazy stories. Of course, it’s serious too. I was never an alcoholic (I am addicted to crack) but once I got clean in 1990, my whole life turned around.

Instead of my life revolving around getting and using drugs I became employable again and I enrolled myself in college. Instead of having to spend so much effort in trying to hide my drug use from my family and employers and having to constantly lie about where I was going and what I was doing, now I have that burden off of me. It’s such a relief. Now my family trusts me again, I am dependable. Anyways enough about me. It’s not impossible to quit drinking. I believe everybody has potential and once you quit drinking you might be surprised at what you can accomplish.

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@77nick77

Thank you for your support. I looked up the local AA in my area, and theres one down the road from me at a community centre. Im gonna summon up the courage to go along. I might see if my social worker can join me for moral support. Its definatley affecting my health - im sure i already have a fatty liver. And ive been told my AP dose would not be so high if i quit drinking.

Its the boredom thats the killer - i need to keep occupied.

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@Naarai you are doing an excellent job of reaching out and asking for support. You’ve been doing an excellent job of staying sober. Your set back is over and you’re doing a good job of stopping it in the early stages. I’m proud of you. Quitting drinking is a hard thing to do and you are doing it.

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Thanks @Leaf.

Its plenty of tea for me - tho ive noticed ive got tremors in the hands in the morning. The pub knows im quitting, and altho she joked her guiness sales would go down, she respects my decision - so i wont be served there, strictly on the orange juice and lemonade. Theres an AA meeting monday im gonna attend - and ive kept my CMHT involved - so they no too prescribe extra meds if it starts messing with my head again.

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When I was 17 I confessed affection to a girl while stoned and drunk and I still have the shame in my words in the back of my neck like an evil whistling marble water. Needless to say it was not reciprocated. Oh well. That’s how you learn. Next?

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@DireStraightsJacket

This lady is 34, i wouldnt of had the balls at 17!
@ninjastar - can you close this thread. Id rather forget about my mistakes and move forward. Cheers.

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