Feelings but not of that nature

It’s something I’ve been struggling for a long time. I have feelings and I have strong emotions , but when it comes to psychical intimacy of any kind … that also includes hugs to family members … I get put off. I’ve always wondered what’s wrong with me. I was so desperate for a relationship but any mention of psychical intimacy or whatever it just lowers my respect I don’t know why :no_mouth:

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I am sure one day u will fall in love…

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Some people just don’t like physical contact. Maybe you only want a relationship when you’re manic or hypomanic, and the rest of the time you’re just not interested. If you want to become more tolerant of physical affection, you can start off small. Pat a family member on the hand, or give them a brief hug. It is important during this time that you are the one who initiates the contact. If you’re in total control of all physical interaction, you might become more comfortable with it. That’s how it worked for me.

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My wife was known as the ice queen until she met me. Now she’s all hugs :hugs:

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Open to some one gradually who you love or who you think secure your life. It doesn’t happen immediate and any how, other than you experienced.

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In all honesty , the physical intamacy and thoughts of it just don’t seem normal in my mind… I don’t really crave it so trying is just going to bring misery. To me it , it’s something like telling a gay person that he should try and make himself get intimate with a girl with baby steps. I hope you dont see this as me being offended by what you’re saying. I’m not. I’m just a bit fed up because I don’t really know what I want out of life and relationships :frowning:

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Also you are right , may be a manifestation of being manic where I seek out these guys and I also entertain these ideas but actual intimacy is another story :confused:

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It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to be more comfortable with physical intimacy. There is no rule saying you need to have physical intimacy in your life. If you’re looking for a relationship with no physical contact, check out the website http://www.ace-book.net/ It’s a social media/dating site for asexual people. I have no idea if you’re asexual or not, but you might find some like-minded people there. I don’t know if the site is active in the U.K. though.

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Maybe you are naturally not a very physical person. Some people are like that. I used to be a physical person until I got ptsd and all the tactile hallucinations of being molested and whatnot then I started not being able to stand touch. It’s a control thing I think, because I couldn’t control or stop the touch from the tactile hallucinations so any touch I can prevent now I want to prevent. I’m better at tolerating it now.

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You might be asexual? There’s nothing wrong with that.

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I think most people don’t know why they do, or don’t do, may behaviors. And what I want changes often enough.

I think some of the stuff inside you cycles, Ish.

Jayster

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@ninjastar I have not signed up to the site but looked into the definiation of Asexuality more and there’s two types. One is the romantic type. I’m more attracted to guys than girls but even then it’s not a psychical attraction. ??? :confused: I don’t know if I am or not … but I think maybe seeing if I can meet asexuals to find out if I click better with them

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I identified as asexual for a while. I was biromantic asexual. In my case, I turned out to just have ptsd. But it was nice getting to know other people who weren’t obsessed with sex, too.

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I remember a couple of beautiful women hugging me, on separate occasions, and I was taken aback by their response. I think for me a big part of it is how I grew up and it was rather rough. It could be that you’re just not being vulnerable enough, @anon80629714. Just a possibility.

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Believe it or not you are not required to have intimacy or physical interaction with others in order to be described as human. Some call it tactile defensiveness and I’ve heard there are therapies for it but I don’t know how effective they are. I have a similar problem myself but I have learned to try to ignore the oversexualized society we live in that says we have to have intimacy in our lives. After a while you find those people who have a lot of sex often have a problem themselves.

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Some people avoid sex because they have intimacy issues. Some people have too much sex because they have commitment issues. And yet other people have a lot of sex, or no sex, but do not have any issues with this. It’s just who they are. It can take a while to figure out if you have issues with intimacy or not, but even though you’re slightly different from the norm, you might just be exactly the way you should be. :slight_smile:

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I’d consider if your lack of desire is a drug(s) side effect. It could just be a case of lowered libido. Check your drug side effects

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I’m not sure. Possibly. Just that it’s hard to figure out what I’m think so much of the time. Thoughts change like the wind

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I am kind of curious about what it would be like for me to date you. It’s just a passing thought. It might be fun if I wasn’t twice your age.

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Not sure how fun it would be for you ahahaha :joy: , you don’t want a woman who barely knows what to do with her life … you’ll go nuts trying to figure me out …:no_mouth:

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