I can’t stand hugging or touching. I know I have a child, but I was new to the whole thing then. I’ve never really liked people touching me or getting too close.
I hung out with my new friend this evening, and there’s not doubt he has a crush on me, he kept trying to hold my hand as we watched tv and I kept pulling away. I mean, I kinda want to hold someone’s hand and get accustomed to the idea of physical affection, but human contact is so awkward for me. I would never even let my mom hug me.
1 Like
I don’t like to be touched either. For a few reasons. I’m accustomed to not be touched and second of all I’m tickleish
I’m weary about being touched by other people or objects. I think it’s an issue with not having full control of surroundings.
After I got PTSD, I was extremely against touch of any kind. But my family is very affectionate, and they kept hugging me. It was awful to put up with at first, but the repeated exposure helped. Eventually I was able to enjoy touch from just my family.
When I met someone who I wanted to be able to touch, I worked my way up slowly. I first told him I needed to move slowly, and I explained my touching problem. He was very understanding (he happened to have the same problem!) and we gradually moved forward.
We both have moments when we have to stop everything because we’re too uncomfortable, but for the most part, we now both enjoy physical intimacy.
Do you like this new friend, or would you rather have him stay a friend?
3 Likes
Thanks for your input. I think I might bring this up with my therapist. Other people find it strange. What’s wrong with me? There’s no sexual abuse in my history and even my mom would always try to hug me, but I’d push her away.
I’m not sure if I fancy him or not. Maybe I do a bit? I just don’t know. These things don’t come easily for me.
You don’t have to make up your mind right away.
1 Like
I don’t like being touched either, never been abused either, I’m not a germaphobe either, could careless if it was someone clean or dirty touching me. I have a certain amount "my-space’ that I like having around me and any time someone moves into that space I feel scared and paranoid. I don’t know what about. If the person really cares about you they’d understand your feelings, or at least respect them even if they can’t understand where its coming from. Just assure them it’s not just about them, its about everyone. Then maybe they wouldn’t feel as bad and be willing to go at a pace that works best for you.
I dont like touching strangers or people I dont know so well.
Like I dont like shaking hands so much etc…
I despise physical contact of any kind
1 Like
I hate to be touched too.
I tried to solve this with therapy for 4 years but no good results.
I’ve decided to be away from all of these things, and it was really hard for me to give it all up, but once I did, I feel peace.
Sorry this isn’t the answer you might want but I hope you’ll find your own way.
But try to be honest and true to your feelings and sometimes “hating to be touched” is an important sign that you might not like him very much or there’ll be someone more suited to you.
1 Like
I’m a total skittish cat when it comes to touch. I feel like someone wants to touch me too much and I am out of there. But sometimes, when I feel safe or in control of it, I’m just plastered all up against someone. It’s weird.
When I worked in a bookstore, a couple of times kind of “auntish” customers - middle aged ladies, nice and nonthreatening - reached out and stroked my hair while I was getting them books. What a bizarre thing to do! It’s hard to believe that one person would do that, let alone two. But both times, I just melted, it was like all the tension in me just washed away. Even though I hate being touched, at the same time, I can get so touch-starved.
If you don’t like being touched you don’t like being touched. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m a hugger but I don’t like people touching me as counter intuitive as that is. I just feel like it lets my friends know I care about them. I’m a very stand offish sort of person. It’s more like a greeting card thing to me. Oh hey, happy to see you after two weeks! Here’s a hug!
I don’t like my mom touching me too much because it just feels awkward but I don’t like the fact that she snuggles and kisses our little dog and not me.
I’m not sure how well someone who liked you would understand that, but I’m sure there’s a way to do it. The truth is the way to go here probably. Just say that you think he’s cute and there might be something here but in general you don’t like a lot of people touching you. I don’t know where you live but where I am good guys take the cue ‘I don’t want to be touched’ as ‘I don’t want to be touched’ and immediately think you are uninterested, so be honest about the fact that you think you might like him.
I hate hugging with a girl…it makes me feel uncomfortable. But if a girl were to say “You can do anything you want to me”’…well I’m not gonna go into details about my sexual fetishes (nothing too bad), but lets just say I like touching/kissing/w.e in a highly passionate way.
It took a long time… but I had to work up to getting used to being touched again.
For a while… touching was hard for me take. It used to trigger tactile hallucinations.
I had to get used to it. I have a large huggie family… for a while I did everything I could to avoid that.
When I’m manic though… I crave physical contact.
It took some time work up to it… but I was able to enjoy hugs again. Beyond that… it takes some effort
Personally I like being hugged and held. I wish I had something warm to hold onto, but nobody gives me love anymore. It makes me feel cold and empty inside. But I know some people that don’t like it either and whatever your comfortable with is whatever your comfortable with. You might relate to this song however.
Have you ever had any crazy sexual experiences while manic?
not really,
The lady sticks a needle in my arm once a month for my injection for schiz.
besides that it’s just family etc.
but as i’m growing older, i’m more drawing away from contact with people I don’t know. what I mean is, I could know you for 6 months but only see you 8 times in that time period, I don’t really want you to touch me. But if I’ve known you for a couple months and we’ve spoken a lot and hanged around each other nearly every day than i’d be more accustomed to it.
But it’s very iffy - what I mean is, I’m not one to get close to people I haven’t known for a long time even my family I’ve known my whole life still feel like strangers sometimes but there is a huge difference in the way I talk and act around people i don’t know. my ex was a co-worker and we worked together about 20 hours a week a long side each other for a couple years before we even dated. And it was still a bit weird at times but i think thats normal because you can’t really read each others brains and you kind of become more comfortable and content but more aware as you get older about one another… thats why a lot of people are distant at older aes when a lot of people were close at young ages if you know what i mean. another reason why i choose pubs over clubs but never really do either 
Yes. My last major break really threw me off. It’s been about 3yrs now and I’m just now starting to feel comfortable with touching or being touched.
Guess I’m used to having no “personal space” because it don’t bother me the least bit if others get too close to me.