My nurse just came to do my depot. We talked and stuff. Not sure if I can trust her. I sometimes think she talks about me to her colleagues.
In fact I am starting to think she works for the department of works and pensions and is assessing me without me knowing it. I don’t trust her.
She seems critical that I don’t do much. I find it very hard to leave the house and my negative symptoms are real bad. I think she thinks I am just lazy. Maybe she is right.
Oh maybe I am just waiting for my depot to kick in. Feeling slightly undermedicated. Sorry guys for the odd posts.
Sounds a bit like paranoia to me, you’re very prone to paranoia. Must be difficult living in a small town where everybody knows each other, and there is little to do. Your mind wonders and goes to difficult places. Try to think this through, she’s a nurse, her job is go give you your depot, you don’t need to discuss anything with her you’re not comfortable with.
Trust your therapist and your pdoc.
I don’t confide my issues with my nurses, there’s no reason to do it.
She suggested that I join a football team. Am really not up for that. Am worried she thinks I don’t try hard enough.
Thing is it takes every bit of motivation and courage to get up and open the curtains. I am trying hard but it maybe doesn’t look that way. She doesn’t know me that well.
Here in the uk all your support is nurse led. You don’t really phone up your NHS pdoc out of the blue. It is all done through your nurse.
My new nurse just seems judgemental.
Hmm… I see. Maybe she’s trying too hard to be on your good side, to turn you into an active member of your community, etc. All good things recovery-wise. We do need to get out of our comfort zones to get out of the funk, even if it seems hard at first. She seems to be well intended, though.
It takes a while to trust someone, I highly doubt she works for the department of works and pensions and is assessing you.
Thanks @minnii you always say the right things.
Think I am feeling sorry for myself right now. Will pass. She is just trying to push me to make improvements. I think she just suggests a lot of stuff and I feel overrun. But maybe she does this because even if I achieved just a small part of that it would be progress.
She gave me the impression that I have had a long term problem with opting out of social stuff (other than family). To her credit she did say patients like me have a real hard time getting back into the community after being out for so long.
Also she does have compassion for problems with negative symptoms and explained how these devestate so many of her patients.
In fact @minnii as I am typing this it is clear she has my best interests at heart.
That’s good, that you can see clearly now 
The rain is goneeee, you can see all obstacles in your waaaay 
Glad I was able to help!
My social worker recently said something really insensitive to me. But I thought maybe this was the kind of thing I was supposed to be hearing. I told my bf days later after stewing about it and crying everyday. He got really pissed off. I guess my senses weren’t that wrong about what she said, she was out of line. My bf thinks that I should communicate to her that she was out of line with that comment and why. Also to address the other judgemental things she says. Bf says its her job not to say these things or me to interpret them this way. She’s doing something wrong in her position and doesn’t know it. You need to let her know, is what my bf said. If you are feeling like she is spying on you for another dept you should let her know this so that she can change her behavior to reassure you that she is just your depot nurse.
I do no social stuff. I think for me it’s a bi directional thing. I’ll balk from the thought of joining groups in the community because of fear of people and their possible reactions. A lot of this stems from being ostracised as a teenager and peer rejection. The reason for that was physical and social awkwardness.
I find it very hard knowing how to socially interact with people and that results in a distance between me and other people,perpetuating the sense of negative reactions from others.
We never know if we can deal with the social pressures until we try them, if we don’t try them we’re stuck in the loop of learned helplessness and that’s not a good place to be.
You are probably right, but I guess you can only really know hard it can be if you come from the position of previous rejection.
I know several years ago a group of people from my day centre used to socialise together. I attempted talking to one of them. His facial expression said ■■■■■ off”. There was no way I was ever going to be included in that group.
Maybe he just had resting-bitch-face?
It was hard not to notice the scowl.
I’m paranoid schizophrenic, so that would’ve been quite a suggestion. Not only does joining a football team require physical capabilities (which is usually the least trouble) but it might suddenly put you in a certain social environment. Sport teams are quite sensitive about age, as well.
She was probably just joking around, or perhaps she saw something in your background that made the suggestion seem logical. But if she knows you can’t even open the curtains, then I don’t know. A suggestion to take daily walks might’ve probably been a little more appropriate…
Daily walks help me. I have to take them at school very often. I’ll just spend 2-3 hours walking in circles talking to no one and it helps me feel slightly better.