I’m on a community treatment order. I have been on one since 2011 for psychosis.
I have had the same community nurse for 5 years. He plays me lip service and tells me what I want to hear all the time. A month ago I was getting pretty bad intrusive thoughts and these were obsessive mainly around my care team keeping secret folders about me and a conspiracy against me/microchip in left armpit, etc. I rang community nurse and told him these thoughts and he lost his cool and it seemed from his mannerism he was accusing me of making it all up by asking me what I want from all this. I have been troubled by is reaction since then. My psychiatrist has proscribed me Haloperidol for two weeks and my thoughts are much calmer. I also have a monthly depot injection. I feel like I can’t open up to the community nurse and now reluctant to go to him with any issues I have. I feel very much on my own.
I thinking about calling it a day with him. I don’t know how I should feel about it? I think it was is dismissive attitude when I was experiencing troubled thoughts and now my only outlet to discuss these thoughts is gone as the trust is gone with him. I know he tells me what I want to hear but his reaction is how he genuinely thinks.