I’ve been on meds for quite a while. Was diagnosed after i went into manic psychosis after smoking weed. I never knew who I was, but while in psychosis, my whole life made sense. Like i finally knew who i was and discovered my true purpose and identity. I want to feel that again. I don’t want to be on meds anymore. The problem is that meds is my only shot at living an independent lifestyle. Ag I dno, my thoughts are always so jumbled up, I don’t even know what I want half the time. Everyday I wake up and have different aspirations. Is anyone off all medication? P.s i don’t smoke weed anymore, wish I could, but I can’t. Maybe my mind is creative enough without it and the meds are dulling my mind.
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I find the meds dull my creativity as well, but I’ve relapsed 5 times while going off of them.
I hope your pdoc monitors you while you taper off. I’d like to be medicine free too but that is only my imagination. My pdoc says I need to stay on meds for a looong looong time.
I hope this is a right decision, that you will manage without meds the rest of your life.
I want to but I don’t think it’s a good idea at the moment. The thing is I love being in psychosis, it’s fun. But I tend to get a bit wild lol
Part of me liked being psychotic as well…until I’d snap out of it and realize the toll it was taking on my family.
@Patrick joh I know what you talking about buddy I can relate. That’s the only thing holding me back from going off meds
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You can decrease your dosage if you are better. But go off meds completely is a very bad idea.
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@moonlee I think that’s a better idea. I’ll speak to my pdoc
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No one wants to be on meds. But meds are necessary evils. Going off of meds is a risk. There’s probably no guarantees that you will not relapse. So before you quit give it some careful thought. And DEFINITELY do not go off meds on your own without your doctors knowledge and approval.
I don’t know what your life is like but a relapse can set you back for many months and even a year. Do you want to risk that?
When you’re in psychosis it’s possible to think you have great insights and revelations and you can think you have everything figured out but what you are actually thinking could be totally wrong. The disease fools us and tricks us. I’m not saying your epiphany was wrong or false, it may have been true or it may not have. But psychosis is a tricky foe. If you think about it carefully, do you really want to go back into psychosis? Think about it. Even if you feel strongly that psychosis can be good,and it helps you have to be aware that this next time may be worse and there are no guarantees of what it will be like this time around. You don’t seem to mind going back into psychosis or you are insinuating it, but this time around it may teach you nothing as it slowly wrecks your life. Is that a gamble you want to take?
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I tried it for a while. Didn’t work out well. My wife and I now have a polite in agreement in place where I don’t mess with my meds and she doesn’t club me like I’m a baby seal. It’s possible to get past the side-effects and regain function, but it takes time for your body to acclimatize to the meds. We’re talking months in some cases. Best thing you can do is tough out the meds so they straighten out your thinking. Once you start to level out you can reduce the meds, but probably not get rid of them.
There are maybe two people on this site who function without meds and they are both anomalies. Most of us with SZ, take our meds away and we self-destruct.
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You really have to consider your job family and friends that you could loose.
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I am pretty confident that going off meds means more psychoses for me, I don’t want that. I have at times been able to more or less cope with psychosis unmedicated. But it is a very big questionmark whether I would be able to do so continuously, for I have also been at the other side, so to speak, or perhaps even weirder, not even knowing on which side I was, like unable to decide whether to choose for a delusional conception or a sane one, that’s paralyzing. Then it is apparently the case that psychoses get worse. So I am not willing to try and see if I could keep it together in another episode. What’s the point really? I mean, even in times I could resist delusions, and cope with hallucinations - that is not the life I would choose, and for me, medications do give me a choice for they work for me. Idk, coping with positive symptoms is no walk in the park for me, not at all, it takes up every moment of the day and as said, I don’t know whether I could keep it up. It is too stressful and time-consuming to spend my energy on. It keeps me from pursuing goals that weren’t merely forced on me, but that I actually chose for myself. And also, that are recognized as something of worth by others. Maybe that is vanity - then vanity keeps me sane. I think I got my priorities sorted out.
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I suppose going off meds won’t be a good thing at this moment in time. When i become financially stable, I’ll give it a shot.
It more depends on your mental status, not financial reason.
@moonlee yeah. But if I do go into psychosis. Atleast I won’t be forced to work to support myself.
@Gaia Please do not listen to @eduvigis
He is telling you that you should stop taking your meds when on another thread you sounded Delusional.
I don’t get it- Mods, isn’t this against the sites guidelines?
@Gaia I think that you should discuss your situation with your psychiatrist.
Only he or she can tell you if you can manage without an AP.
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Don’t worry, Wave, I’m keeping an eye on this.
And @Gaia, you sound really delusional on other posts that you make, I also don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stop meds, at all. We just have to make peace with the fact that we have a mental illness and that the only way to stay sane is to take meds. For some this is easier to understand than others.
And @eduvigis, there’s a very few percentage of people that can live without meds, it’s clearly not the case of Gaia here, be careful when making those statements.
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Eish. The other post was just a theory lol. I’m just trying to make sense of why all sz people experience the same things. I know that all of us are different though. My pdoc says that they just try and treat the symptoms and that the dam changes every few years. They don’t really know what illness I have to a 100% certainty. She says it’s bipolar with psychotic symptoms. My therapist says it’s schizoaffective bipolar type. I dno. I don’t hear voices in the sense that they sound like they are real. They are like thoughts that happen automatically I guess. Only happens at night when I’m trying to sleep though. And i think I can make theories. I’ve been a top student all my life right throughout university so I have a good understanding of universal phenomena. Ag I dno.
Anyone into the spiritual side of things? I know I used to be when I delve into the metaphysical side of things. But lately I’ve been thinking that everything in the world is physical. But physics can be a strange thing that we don’t fully understand yet. A lot of strange things happen in physics, such as just by watching an electron move, it changes what the electron does. A lot of strange things. Ag I dno.
Sometimes a want a normal life, wife, kids, house, money, cars, the works. Other times I really want to actually contribute to the Knowledge of mankind. Discover new things and such. I feel as like I have the capability to do it. It’s just that ever since my break, my mind has never been the same. I cannot comprehend things as fast as I used to able to. I don’t know if it’s the meds, or because of my psychotic break. Ag I dno.
Well my other option is just to get enough money to go live in the tropics here in south Africa, away from normal life and just able to be my crazy self. Maybe if I’m crazy for long enough, I would be able to get used to it. Ag I dno
Don’t know what to think anymore, my thoughts are always all over the show. I don’t really remember one thought to the next. 
ag I dont know… Lol 
I am waiting for this, but can’t go against doc,