I have gained over thirty lbs since taking meds for two years. I feel like every mistake i make as I struggle through college is either a representation of how pathetic i am or the universe and Their attempt to beat me down and push me to suicide. It doesnt help that my elder sister is in med school and living the perfect life- thin like i was two years ago, succeeding like i used to. Independent and not restricted by parents like i am as they still support me even tho they shoulnt. I am waiting for my abilify to start working after i quit olanzapine but i feel in general i am so pathetic, useless, always ignored. I truly hate my self.
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I’m so sorry you are going through this. stay alive fren
I am sorry =(
Guess what? I have gained 40 pounds. in one year and double body fat?!
Just live your life and it is not a good idea to compare yourself to others in any way. people have their own struggles.
it is a very crazy idea to be suicidal over this. Just try to get healthy, eat healthy, make some healthy habits you know?
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Remember there is a core of who you are that is completely your own and doesn’t change as your appearance fluctuates. You’re still you… and you’re entitled to love and happiness…
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You are not your weight, you are not your degree, you are not your finances, and you are not your parents.
You are you, and you are beautiful just the way you are.
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@kindness put it so well I can only nod in agreement…
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Don’t feel suicidal over something you can change…I also gained 30 lbs from medication and am not very happy with my body or appearance right now. But I know I can change it and you can too. I lost 5 lbs just from cutting fast food out of my diet for example. I know with a fully healthy diet I could lose even more plus exercise and I’m good. You have power over your body. You can change it.
And for college you should feel amazing you are doing it at all with such severe mental illness. I bet if your sister were in your shoes she wouldn’t be in med school, she may not even make it through college at all.
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I gained enough weight to be hard to recognize and had to drop out of medical school. I am 26 and without a career. However I plan to go back to my state school to get my masters in accounting. I also have a temporary bank job and am loosing weight by eating less lunch. Its not the glamorous life I thought I’d have, but I feel like I’m recovering. Sometimes it’s best not to dwell on the bad things that happened and try to think about what is good for you moving forward. Things will get better if you keep trying your best.
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I look entirely different than before I was MI. I use to be slim and extremely fit. I also use to be much more attractive. Now I only shower occasionally. I also use to have much better (obviously) mental faculties. I struggle to do the simplest things. School is hard for me.
However, I am equally worthy. My value is identical to what it was before MI. I am not saying I have got it locked down because I get very bummed out myself! I do. Some days I feel like a damn slug and I would love to have my old ‘look’ back and my old brain.
But I also know, deep inside, that what I am saying is true. My value and worth has not changed and it is equal to anybody else on this planet whether they have more or less than I do or are more or less attractive. The same is true for you.
I’m sorry to hear you are so down on yourself. Time will pass. Things will change. You shouldn’t compare yourself to your sister.It is not a fair comparison.
Thanks for the kind words. It lifts my spirits to know others are going through the same thing and maintain a positive atttiude. I need to work on the same
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