I’ve been feeling very antisocial lately. I’ll purposely give weird kid faces to people walking by. A guy dropped a dollar and I kept it. I did forget to take zyprexa these past two nights but I have it in my google calendar now. However I’m never aggresively antisocial. Just like to screw with people, like if I released stinky gas during a class that would be funny, or connect to public speakers and start blasting cats on mars on repeat. Im like the Ghandi or MLK or Bart Simpson of antisocial behavior though nothing to actually do any real harm. How does any of this manifest with other people. Are you guys more asocial or antisocial?
I’m more asocial. I can become defiant if I think someone is treating me unfairly. Sometimes I can get into a “me vs. them” frame of mind. Most of the machinations in my mind when I’m around people are meaningless. It’s just static.
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This is hilarious…damn…I used to be asocial, I couldn’t tolerate anyone being close to me at all, and had some antisocial tendencies like trying to scare people and succeeding and getting arrested, seeking thrills, ect.
Today I am a nice guy and cool to people, I learned through empathy in my fellow scz that I could be the same way towards normal people, at least ones I identify with.
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How did you overcome that, being around people without feeling like they were trying to trigger you somehow?
Just because you feel anti-social, doesn’t mean you are.
Good point and for me at least I would say it comes in phases. I’m not generally antisocial nor asocial. Only when I feel like giving up
I still feel like people are trying to trigger me and that they know me- I just focus on my objectives for the day and keep it tight. I call it staying frosty- some people call it that too.
I am generally very nice but I can be cold as ■■■■ for survival at the flip of a switch.
I was trained in hand to hand combat and they had us think of our aggression as flipping a switch, taking ourselves off safety and doing whatever it takes to survive. I don’t physically fight people anymore, but I can liken that mentality to meeting my ends by any means necessary. I just finish my objectives and carry on. If something like a test or meeting comes up, I can force myself to adapt.
I just do whatever it takes to do whatever I have to. It’s that simple, but not really; the most good for the most people is kept in mind. That means interacting socially even if I don’t want to or feel uneasy or even afraid.
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I have that “switch” too though I just get very distant and in my own head. Or the antisocial part of me kicks in and I start creating different ways of speech to kind of keep the person against me guessing. Not very fond of being physical (have had enough physical pain for one lifetime), but I’ve learned to become clever with how I interact. Through mental trauma from high school and how everyone treated each other I’ve been able to basically talk with independent expression to what I’m actually thinking. Like almost someone is talking for me and making the facial expressions (even though I generally don’t have much expression anymore anyway). It just distances myself from the conversation while not seeming like an ■■■■■■■. The downside is I never actually connect to anyone, not even including my generalized belief about people and how they are programmed like computers to mentally trigger me to make time miserable. I’m sort of in a catch 22 with this one. Either throw out the notion of them trying to screw with me and take my chances which historically for me have rarely if ever worked out, or stay distant and let mustle memory take over a conversation not caring about the end result, just to stay safe and not triggered by whatevers going on in my head during that time. Anyone I ever talk to seems to enjoy my presence more when I don’t actually focus on the conversation as much, maybe because it might seem more relaxed to them, but again I never feel connected. And you can’t make friends with disconnected speech that seems emotionless. Maybe take a course on communication? But I really have had that anti social I don’t even care mode get out of my face, which helps because it keeps me distant from the outside world and relieves some conspiracies I have about it. But I’ll never really know the truth about what I think of all this until I really test it and get involved with humanity.
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