Father died and the stress is higher

my father died at 72 of a massive heart attack. He suffered the last six years with Alzheimer’s disease . I have a negative history with my father that left me to Tay away from him since I turned sixteen and file for emancipation from my parents. My two your sisters are I charge of dividing up the estate. One sister is an alcoholic with five dogs and.a cat. She was fired from a good job as the city fire marshal after be caught drunk on the job. The dogs have destroyed her house before she lost it, and dads house while she lived with him to take care of him. She is a fanatic when it comes to these dogs and refuses to give them up. No one will take her with those nimble. My other sister has offered her a home if she is willing to give them up. I am being thrown into the middle of the drama. A drama that is causing my voices to act up, my hair to fall out f my head in large clumps, and waking u at two in the morning with nightmare. Needless to say they are stressing me out. My tdoc says to set limits on them due I have tried that and they just walk all over them. I have tried not answering the phone but they fill up my voicemail and call constantly. I have tried spreading out my Ativan a little farther apart to see if it would help in dealing with them. I have tried mediation but I am too anxious to sit still and too depressed to do anything went I do find myself calmed down to be able to. I love doing crafts and I haven’t been able to do any since he died December 22, 2014. Anyone have ideas, talked to the pdoc, he is not wanting to up my meds for a situation that should be resolving itself soon.

I’m sorry about your fater and that your sisters doesn’t give you space. Can you ask your husband (if you’re married) to take those calls? Maybe that will ease your stress a bit?

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I am sorry for your loss @Saphire - both my parents are elderly and I am slowly preparing myself for this time.
I think that you should tell your psychiatrist your situation, and tell him that you are not coping well - maybe he or she can adjust your meds temporarily.
Try to stay away from the line of fire - remove yourself from the drama - try to remain as tranquil as possible.
Best of luck to you!


Have courage and try to adjust your meds as @Wave has said.

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Im sorry to tear about your father. Alzheimers is an awful disease. My grandfather had it. At least now your dad is at peace.

I’m really sorry. When I lost my father, I had to take charge of my younger two siblings and my mother who was just staring at the wall all day for a year. I may not know what you’re going through, but I know what I went through. Sometimes you can’t just shut family out, because they really don’t care if you’re mentally unstable, they just know there’s something that needs to be done, and you’re the one they decided has to do it. Saying no isn’t always an option.

What I did during this time was just block everything out, or else lie and say my life wasn’t that bad, because look at all these third world countries I could be living in. That usually resulted in more psychosis. I don’t think there’s really anything that can help you get through this except time. The whole situation sucks, and it’s going to continue to suck for a long time, but eventually, in the future, it really will start to get better. I didn’t think I could ever be happy again. It was a full year before I even smiled. But eventually it will get easier.

For now, I think all you can really do is reach into your last reserves, and handle your sisters. It doesn’t sound like there’s anyone else who can deal with it. Sometimes, just knowing you’re the only one who can help the people you love is enough to keep you going when you feel like you can’t.

As for the dogs, it sounds like your sister is just trying to push to get her way with your other sister. There is nothing wrong with her setting boundaries and saying no to the dogs. My sister had two destructive dogs at the time of her divorce, and when she moved back in with my mom, she tried to manipulate her into taking in the dogs too. “Oh they have nowhere else to go and I’m all alone except for my dogs,” and things like that. Eventually though, she got rid of them so she wouldn’t be homeless. If your sister would really rather be homeless than give up her dogs, then there’s nothing you can do to help her. But I think she’s just trying to see if she can get away with keeping the dogs and moving in with your other sister. Eventually, she will realize she can’t get away with it, and then she will most likely give up the dogs. Feel free to message me any time if you want to vent about it or anything.

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I’m sorry for your loss. I know how messy estates can get and how rough it can be between siblings during this time. Maybe you could start crafting again by saying hey I’m going to sit down and do … for 5 minutes now and then do it for only 5 minutes. Then stop see how you feel, go do other things and if you are up to it go back to the crafting later on.


Very sorry for your loss!
I think you can deal with your sisters and still set boundaries. They are going to have to respect them-they have no choice. Do the best you can, and let it go…
Good luck OO

I am sorry for your loss. I have thought about how I will cope when I lose my parents.

As far as the dog issue goes, be proactive about it. The only way through is forward. Try finding good homes for your sister’s dogs instead of just insisting she dump them at a shelter. She will feel better, less like she is under attack. You have to sit her down and show her the options. You can put up an add on Craigslist together. Make a second email account to deal with people from there.

I hope you feel better soon.

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Im sorry for your loss and stress. When the medication is working often doctors are hesitant to adjust the dose. There are lots of things you can do to help alleviate stress. Maybe write some poetry or doodle in a notebook. Writing helps me. I had an uncomfortable conversation with my dad about the fact that he needed to update his will as my mom is too sick in case that something happened to him, but I didn’t want to talk about it anymore after that. The idea of losing my parents is difficult. It would be harder to lose my dad because he’s always been there for me, and is the most supportive of me doing his best to help me when I became ill.

I wish you well and healing during this time. I’ve decided that everyone goes to heaven, and those who need it come back to earth. The odd thing that bothers me about reincarnation is that only a handful of children have memories of their past lives, but why not everyone? I think it could be cultural, as Hindus seem to know that they will re- incarnate. I think that lost souls or souls with hardships will come back and further better themselves. I pray your father is at peace.

I know there is an after-life. My friend I lost said that she is here, sometimes everywhere, and then that she is in a different place. A place like this one, but different. I wonder if it means there are other dimensions that are different than this one.

I hope that this gives you comfort in knowing that souls don’t stop, that growth continues long after old wounds are healed. I also believe schizophrenia was partly a lesson to me about life and death. Maybe this faith has helped me as well.

Drink lots of water and fill your heart with joy. know that life is temporary, but that death is also temporary.