I’ve been taking care of my step grandmother the past 2 years. She has Alzheimer’s I’m also dealing with my mom having lung cancer.
My step grandmother was married to my grandfather before I was born. I always considered her my grandmother. I’ve been living with her the past 18 years.
My grandmother didn’t want her family getting this estate so she had a will made leaving everything to me my aunt and my mom. She wasn’t sick when she made the will.
My grandmother was mad at her sister for screwing her out of their parents estate. Thats why she left everything to us.
Now my grandmother has forgotten everything her sister did to her and she’s invited her into our lives. The will is iron clad and my aunt and mom have power of attorney.
Her sister is now coming up here from Florida they day before my grandmother gets her second covid shot. I’d been keeping her isolated so she doesn’t get sick.
My grandmothers now says she wants her niece to have everything. She doesn’t remember the prior will.
My grandmothers sister and niece are calling and manipulating her against our family. She’s becoming hostile toward me.
I have my own mental health issues to deal with. Not to mention my mom is dying.
I’m done her family can have everything for all I care. I’m ready to walk out of here.
That is such a tricky question, and really, only you can answer it. You know better than us what you can and can’t take in terms of stress. If your grandmother isn’t in her right state of mind, I don’t see any lawyer taking on the task of changing her will. If she tries to push the issue, your mom and aunt would have to prove that she isn’t competent. It shouldn’t be hard, since she has a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. I believe several folks here have been declared legally incompetent and might have insight as to how it works.
Either way, the situation seems to be mostly out of your hands, as far as the will goes. I know you are the primary caregiver for your mom and grandmother, which is a very stressful job on its own. Can either of them qualify for home health aids to come sometimes to help lift the burden a bit? When my dad was sick, we tried caring for him on our own for months before he finally qualified for hospice care. The hospice nurses were indispensable. They really helped us out so we could just focus on enjoying our remaining time with him.
Wills and estates can do terrible things to people who you thought loved you. When the time comes, I would just recommend that if her niece challenges the will, hire a lawyer to defend your case and then stay as out of tune with the proceedings as you can. The lawyers will battle it out with each other and need very little input from you.
We already have a note from her doctor saying she’s not capable of making her own decisions.
Her sisters is rich and will do what ever it takes. There are some dirty lawyers out there that will try to capitalize on this situation. It’s just going to make living here in a hostile envoirment unbearable.
My mom and aunts name are already on the deed to the house. I get my moms half of the house is she passes before my grandmother. My mom doesn’t have long left.
What are the possible stressors that could come with a cheap motel room? How do they compare to the stressors of staying with your grandma? Maybe writing down the pros and cons could help you with your decision?
What an unbearable situation. I’m so sorry
I just can’t answer what is best
A motel sounds just as stressful though
Your life will change if you can get this inheritance
It is financial security for life you are fighting for
Can you get a solicitor pro Bono perhaps?
Or pay if you win
Do you have a friend you clan get help or family member who can look out for you?
There is nothing worse than to be caught in a crossfire of dueling family members. When my mom died, her brother and my father went round and round for 8 years. My uncle was able to wrest custody of me away from my father, only to lose custody of me and me bouncing back to my father. A family friend said to me once that she had never seen such a war between families.
As someone who was caught in the middle (which it sounds like you may be), if you’re willing and able to let all assets of the estate be forfeited to whoever, do it. It will save you possibly years of fighting and bickering. Sometimes it may be worth it to declare everything a wash and let it go…again, if you can.
I know I’m an only child and my dad died when I was 5. The only family I have is my aunt and two uncles. My uncles are raging alcoholics. They like to get drunk and point guns at each other. My aunt is mean and always been jealous my grandparents favored me.
I have 2 friends. One of them would jump in front of traffic for me. The other is a good guy but not someone I could depend on.
It’s hard but I think I’m going to stick it out here. I’m going to fight them. When my grandmother was of sound mind she wanted me to have this.
Good luck I hope things work out for you in the future. It’s a dog eat dog world.
Everything you can do to reduce stress it’s a must and think of this for the long term.if you can do an activity outside the house once in awhile even might be enough.other than some form of exercise walking or something.
I think you’re making a good decision just take care of yourself in this stressful situation