Fake Forum News Thursday 9/8

Lounge
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RUN FROM THE BUNNY, HONEY

Entire Midwest a Ghost Town After Giant Easter Bunny Escapes From Experimental Facility
35 million dead, 2 million missing
Panic as Easter Bunny heads west towards such forum members as @77nick77, @Hedgehog

In our reality-based segment of today’s forum news…

@Ninjastar Comments On First Few Weeks Of Marriage
The well-respected forum member is glad "to have someone loud enough to talk over the voices"
On their preferred partner gender: “a sexy ass is a sexy ass”

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I thought it seemed quiet today.

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We’re all mourning the losses today. Wow, @Nomad, such strength you have, to be reporting in your condition! You have true journalistic integrity!

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:sunglasses: I do it for the people, @Ninjastar …

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LIVE FROM FFN HEADQUARTERS: THE PRESIDENT AMBUSHED BY THE GIANT EASTER BUNNY WHILE SPEAKING IN ARIZONA:

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201536/rs_634x1024-150406182257-634.Barack-Obama-Easter-Bunny.ms.040615.JPG

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I think FFN has jumped the… Bunny.

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You see the world is falling apart! how else could the Easter Bunny make it past the Secret Service? Thanks Obama…

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---------BREAKING NEWS---------
This just in from our affiliates from across the pond. Gangs of Easter bunnies have been spotted roaming the streets of London. They are readily identifiable by their light blue jackets and tasteless yellow and light blue plaid waistcoats and matching bowties.

Back to you Nomad…

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My God… (retains professional demeanor) Thanks for the update @Moonbeam -

(Shuffles papers on desk), We now turn to @Patrick and @shutterbug for updates on the situation in Canada.

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My cat poached my cup of tea this morning while I was in the shower.

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This just in: Cats are now joining the roving gangs of Easter bunnies! Is your cat secretly a sleeper agent? Find out tonight at eleven!

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http://www.tching.com/corpus/files/2654d77a-09c4-4573-b905-bbf64f07959b/kittydrinkingtea-320x341.jpg

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Y’all are treating this like it’s a joke. You don’t realize how horrifying it is to find you’re down to less than half a cup of tea and it’s now furry.

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Yes, I can see how that would be unpleasant.

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Next issue.

Is @brucewillis really the Easter bunny and this is why his fascination with laying eggs.

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And thousands of turtles were spotted bolting from the area, like rats leaving a sinking ship, except greener. @anon31257746

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He needs to ramp up production – I’m fresh out.

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Bolt like a turtle sleep like a potato?!?!?

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Wasn’t there few doctor jokes about people thinking they could lay eggs?

My patients thinks he’s a chicken!
Can you cure him?
We don’t want to, we need the eggs.
Wonder how he’d go laying a table?
Sounds painful!

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Oh no! Not the mean bunnies! I just got finished quelling the Koala Bear infestation. Now I have to deal with bunnies too? I never get enough rest.