Fake Forum News editor Nomad has been taking time off to rethink how he can be a better mediocre version of TheOnion.com. In the meantime he spent all his money on Walmart Onion Rings. (Queue sad piano music) …Now he is out of money, out of onion rings, and looking to stage a comeback on the forum stage to bring the latest breaking news to the citizens of this forum. Unfortunately, he doesn’t like working, as a side effect of his Trazadone medication (causes comfortable sleeping-ins: consult with your doctor). Until he realized how much you citizens have been constantly begging him and cramming his mailbox full of requests, he didn’t think you’d be willing to pitch in.
That’s why he’s asking you to give just 10% of your entire income to fight misinformation in news journalism. Like you, he’s tired of the laziness of most reporters and wants to give the citizenry what they deserve: a thorough investigation of the facts, following the truth wherever it leads him.
Bob: I’m painting a demon… overlooking the lake of fire.
Skunk: That sounds int-
Bob: - But I’m gonna give him a friend so he won’t be lonely. Two demons… overlooking the lake of fire…it will be our little secret and I can make this demon however I want.
Skunk: We’ll cut this interview short as you have alot on your pallette. Thank you.
In weather related news… studies show that the Haldol flavoured ice cream is not a big hit among the elderly, could it be because of the current cold front? And now… back to you Nomad.
Well, my wife certainly doesn’t like the new Haldol icream, but then again neither does she like peanut butter and jelly, of all things. (chuckle) Thanks for the report, ilovethaifood.
(Turns back to center camera): That’ll do it for this weekends broadcast. We thank you for joining us, and as always, happy posting. (Looks down and shuffled the same papers, multiple times)
It is decidedly so