Is not a skill I am good at. I am never sure what to offer in terms of refreshments etc and get anxious over what to buy or not buy and how to offer it.
What I have is very much set up for just me and a basic existence not for entertaining others.
i think asking what they like b4 they come over is always good. tea, coffee and sandwiches always go down well, with maybe a cake for afters. just a simple afternoon tea i think. all you need to know is white or brown bread and fillings. good luck hunni. did you get the daktarin? xxx
2 Likes
Just a matter of making your visitors feel welcome. As most of my friends say âI came to see you not your house, your food etcâ When I mention the house is a bit untidy or nothing really to offer them. Tea or coffee. Always a good place to start though. If itâ s a bit more elaborate like a dinner party your talking about I think everybodyâs like that. Would think itâs all trial and error so maybe just keep it simple until you feel more confident
1 Like
Firemonkey!! Boy, if your biggest problem with socializing is putting out the correct snacks then I would say you have it made! Itâs the easiest thing in the world. Put out staples like crackers, chips, dip, olives etc. A good method is to put out things that YOU would like at someones house and put out things that you have been served at social gatherings before. at other peoples houses. For drinks for an informal gathering soda might be OK. Bottled water is OK. For lunches set out juice. I drink Crystal Light. Lemonade is good. Use your common sense. Bowls of candy would be cool for after dinner. Snack mixes are appropriate. Buy Chex cereal, mixed nuts, raisins, small crackers like cheese nips and stick pretzels and mix then together in a large bowl. Viola. A good snack.
Snacks for dipping
â˘
Carrot sticks
â˘
Cucumber
â˘
Celery
â˘
Radishes
â˘
Capsicum
â˘
Cauliflower
â˘
Crackers e.g. water crackers, wheat crackers,
low fat cream crackers or crispbreads
â˘
Rice crackers
â˘
Toasted bread
â˘
Bread stick cut into slices
Homemade chips:
Cut tortilla, mountain bread or pita bread into
small pieces. Brush with canola oil and sprinkle
with a little salt and black pepper. Bake at 160°C
for 8-10 minutes. Add garlic powder onion
powder, or mixed herbs before baking for a
different flavour.
Dips
You donât need to buy expensive dips. It is
quick and easy to make your own. Try some of
these ideas:
â˘
Cottage cheese - add chopped chives or
small pieces of pineapple for more flavour.
â˘
Sweet chilli dip- mix 2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
with a pottle (½ cup) of natural yoghurt.
â˘
More ideas.
Creamy tomato dip- mix 2-3 tbsp tomato
sauce with a pottle of natural yoghurt
(½ cup) or 1/3 cup lite sour cream.
â˘
Salsa- chop 4 tomatoes, ½ onion and bunch
of coriander. Add ½ can corn and mix together.
â˘
Avocado dip- mash Âź avocado with lemon
juice and 1 pottle of natural yoghurt
2 Likes
Perhaps it is for you and many others but it isnât for me. Itâs not just the snacks,though i mentioned that specifically
A lot of it is severe social anxiety and high anxiety over doing things wrong
I accept it could be seen as irrational but I guess you too and others here have things that youâre irrational about.
Iâd go for several bowls of different goldfish. Snack crackers- twigs are good, Frozen grape juice with a couple of cans of lemonade is good. Iced tea w/lemon + sweetener for non-sugar people. Two bite brownies are good.
I would never be brave enough to have people over. But I donât think you can do much wrong, unless you are worried about that, and so you do. Do the people you know really care? Or do they appreciate you for trying. Maybe everyone will have a good time eating and talking and take the spotlight off of you. You could sort of observe part time.
1 Like
I stink at knowing what to do when others come over, which is probably less than once a year-if that.
I just tell them up front that Iâm not good at this kind of thing, so they need to know that if they need something that I havenât offered, they can either ask me, or just feel free to help themselves.
If they havenât been here before, I show them where the bathroom is, and also where there is a comfortable place to sit, and where I keep the snacks and beverage.
Beyond that, I let them set the pace for what they want to do.
It helps if I have a project to show them that I can work on to take the pressure off trying to make conversation out of nothing, yet still be able to pay attention to them and not be rude.
Conversation is really about sharing a little of yourself and asking questions so that you can learn enough about the other person to find some common ground and interests you both share that lead to more things to talk about.
1 Like
Are you expecting family members @firemonkey? friends? good luck with it - just put out a few bowls filled with chips and such - dips usually are popular
Yes -including a stepbrother and his family that I have never met. As said a lot of it is severe social anxiety kicking in.exacerbated by an inferiority complex about myself and my place. All of them live much posher lifestyles than I do.
2 Likes
I think it will go well - I get anxious when extended family comes over to visit or sleep over - but I manage, and things work out for me. I am sure you will be just fine
A part of me wants to get into ââ take things as you find them or you know where the door isââ mode.
2 Likes
Donât be so hard on yourself. They are coming to see you, not judge you on how you live. Most people especially family, look past others surroundings and only remember how you make them feel while they visit.
Focus on making them comfortable within your surroundings, and let them be able to relax. As long as they know where they can sit, sleep, go to the bathroom, and where to eat (point out a few restaurants/takeaways/stores in the area if they need or want to get something not available in your house).
1 Like
Just had phone call from my brother(at long last) and things seem to have changed. The visit on his own(my dad) or with my stepmother, which I expected today, isnât happening and instead he is just coming down with my stepbrother etc on Wednesday. My brother wasnât happy, and nor am I as once again we are slotted in to fit with everyone else, but was basically told come to lunch with them and/or go round http://www.adventureisland.co.uk/main.html which we still know by itâs old name Peter Panâs playground .
Once again we donât get quality time with him . I suppose I shouldnât be upset as itâs been the same for the last 9 years which is when he stopped coming to the flat after my wife died. The excuse trotted out to my brother was my stepmother has mobility problems, never mind there are lifts.
Brother said in the end he put the phone down on them as he was so pissed off.
aaah iâm so sorry things havenât panned out the way you wanted them to hunni. but at least you still get to see your dad and brother right? maybe your brother could come over to you some other time on his own? good luck with your outing hunni xxx
Thatâs the same type of thing that happens to me. All that worrying and planning and then the game changes. Maybe it is a good thing if it relieves you of the stress, but at the same time, what a let down.
Sorry you have to go through all this.
Sounds like your step brother is worth getting to know better.
Maybe he can be the friend to you that would help you out of your isolation.