I had my supposed family therapy on last Friday and, I’ve been upset emotionally disturbed since then. I don’t feel em pathy towards the therapist and find her extremely annoying. I requested this therapy because I can’t deal with my parents but I hate the therapist, I think she is lousy at her job. One can have a degree in psychology and be lousy at it, and she is. I’m not the first user of the hospital to say that. I’ve been struggling in isolation because I can’t talk to my family. My mother went and complained to the therapist that I’m always on her heels and complaining. I started to boil on the inside. Now I’ve decided that I will not say a word if not necessary about my feelings and won’t be messing around with her. I will no longer be on her back like a burden. That’s what she made me feel like I was.
But this isolation, not having even my parents to rely on is driving me insane and I fear I will collapse or burst at any moment. I am afraid that I will not be able to leave my antipsychotic because I will not be emotionally stable. They don’t know how much they disturb my feelings and they don’t understand even if I explain it to them. They argue that they don’t do anything. And my response to that is, exactly, that’s my whole point. You don’t do anything! But mainly I am afraid that I won’t be able to leave my antipsychotic by next appointment if I won’t be emotionally well.
Or maybe I just need to see the truth of things before I leave the AP so I can’t deal with it beforehand. It makes sense. Deal with reality before leaving completely the medication.