First of all I am no longer able to sleep and wake up with my normal schedule.
I slept at 3 am and woke up at 11:30 am and had 15 minutes to get ready because my friend was taking me to my Pdoc today.
I started taking Ativan everyday along with L Theanine so I feel extra drowsy in the mornings.
I reached there and when I started talking to my doctor I tried hard to stop myself from crying.
He tried to help me. I told him my resentment is ruining my life, my relationship is not working out and I am miserable.
He asked me if I would feel better if I leave. Honestly I do not even know what I need.
He did not want to give me medication for anxiety. He said you are sad and angry, does not mean you need medication to suppress your feelings.
Then I asked him if he could refer me to a psychotherapist and he said they charge 150 bucks per session the least, so he said he will talk to my therapist and see if I can get psychotherapy at the hospital. Which is some hope.
sorry @anon1571434 It is like a battle everyday to be positive and look at the bright side. I don’t know why I suffer so much with this.
@everhopeful I already increased from 20 to 40 it has been 10 days so I am taking 40 in the morning and 8- at night. I am too drowsy. If I take 80 I will sleep all day.
Things can get better. It doesn’t always have to be this way. Maybe if you treat yourself to a movie with a friend. Or maybe go out to eat with a friend. Do you have people you can confide in? That might help.
It sounds like you overdid it at the gym. These med’s slow us down a little. One time I tried to work out with weights like I did when I was 25, and I was so sore I could barely move for two weeks. Putting on a shirt was a struggle. People on med’s like us have to sneak up on the exercise.
Yeah it is helping me a lot for my wellbeing though. I feel much more energetic and also a bit more peaceful. My constant agitation seems to have gone.
Sounds good. What prevents me from exercising is my back, but there is a long, steep hill I might walk up and down over the weekend. It’s by a school, so I won’t do that during the weekdays.
Your pdoc seems to have known what to say. You should accept your feelings, no matter how weepy you feel. Crying is not a bad thing. You could do with less Ativan. It would be challenging, but you would feel better.
