First of all I am no longer able to sleep and wake up with my normal schedule.
I slept at 3 am and woke up at 11:30 am and had 15 minutes to get ready because my friend was taking me to my Pdoc today.
I started taking Ativan everyday along with L Theanine so I feel extra drowsy in the mornings.
I reached there and when I started talking to my doctor I tried hard to stop myself from crying.
He tried to help me. I told him my resentment is ruining my life, my relationship is not working out and I am miserable.
He asked me if I would feel better if I leave. Honestly I do not even know what I need.
He did not want to give me medication for anxiety. He said you are sad and angry, does not mean you need medication to suppress your feelings.
Then I asked him if he could refer me to a psychotherapist and he said they charge 150 bucks per session the least, so he said he will talk to my therapist and see if I can get psychotherapy at the hospital. Which is some hope.