So am in the process of possibly changing prescribers due to some med issues (not being prescribed mood stabilizers and having two rounds of mania).
My therapist suggested a center where they do prescriber stuff and possible case management, and it has been an eye opener if anything.
I went there just now and there are homeless folks sleeping in the lobby. A woman in the waiting area saying loudly that jail’s not so bad and that she’d happily go again (she also kept saying she would “fuuck a biitch up,” among other things).
Had an intake appointment and they want me to receive prescriber attention, plus occasional case management, therapy, and attend assorted wellness programs…
I can’t help but feel like I’m taking away resources from people who may benefit from this type of help more. I dunno— it makes me feel like because I’m (thankfully and gratefully) not homeless, destitute, and in and out of jail that my illness doesn’t merit this type of assistance.
I am ill. I have a severe mental illness. But at what point is my illness “worthy” or “not worthy” of programs and help?
At what point is somebody too sick, or not sick enough?
I am so lost and bleak and shocked and confused yet grateful for what I have in my life.
We all tend to forget sometimes that we didn’t willfully cast this illness upon ourselves. We tend to take the blame and it’s dangerous.
Remember that those people were put behind bars for misdeeds, whereas you didn’t to anything wrong to deserve such a terrible illness. Please accept any help you can get.
oh of course you deserve the services…just because others are sick or more ill than you doesn’t mean you need it just as badly as they do…i go to a non profit med clinic which is why I live in this town…good for you for asking…hope you still go there.
Dealing with bureaucracies can be very frustrating. You might try asking. If they turn you down ask if there is another agency that helps people like you. Sometimes being assertive with a bureaucracies can work. Don’t be aggressive, but state your case.
You’re right— we don’t choose this for ourselves. I think it’s so deeply ingrained, these concepts of productivity and societal advancement, that I almost feel like I’m not doing enough with myself— however, I (and whoever needs to hear this ) need to remember that I’m doing the best I can with respect to situations beyond my control.
You are very right— supports are limited for the SZ population, so I am going to give it a shot. I still feel as though someone out there in dire circumstances needs the help more, but they did screen me first during the intake and decided their services would benefit me so I guess that counts for something. Gonna speak more about it with my therapist this Friday.
Bureaucracies are the worst, it’s true. They did actually approve me to receive care there, so that is a good thing. But yea, the paperwork and all the hoops to jump through is very stressful and taxing.
I get these feelings too. Because with my mental health association I am in a lot of services. But I can drive and now live on my own. But I still need the support, the meds, the therapy. I sometimes feel bad about it cause there’s a long waiting list. But then my homicidal ideation acts up and having those talking supports helps me out. To remind me that I’m not this awful monster. And if I was, I’d be back in the hospital for a med change. The supports are there to help and guide you and keep you out of the hospital. I get more help outside of the hospital than in. I’m still a bit delusional and deal with the HI but I’m not alone in it. I’ve been in this program for 2 years now. You were screened and deemed in need enough for it, so I say run with it. It could totally change your life in a positive way. Then you graduate and the next in line comes in.
I’m really happy you’re getting the help you need at your mental health place, and I hope the good days continue for you. Gonna give it a whirl myself and see.
And don’t be scared to “fire” people you don’t get on with. I had to learn that myself. Having not had insurance for the longest time I was used to taking what I can get. Now having options is a new concept still. So if you butt heads with a case manager ask for another. But also don’t be surprised if you get many case managers. Here in my town it’s high turn over and a lot of them are in school for masters so they move on. I’ve had a few case managers in my 2 years. Just a heads up.
I don’t think you should compare your level of needs to others. Just think about what you need, and make sure you get the services that you need to stay well. If they provide the level of services you need, then you should go there.
) need to remember that I’m doing the best I can with respect to situations beyond my control.