Lately the last 3 weeks I’ve become very paranoid again with driving. I dread it. It’s sucks. I’m a very safe driver and I’m very cautious but still I’m worried. Sometimes I feel like I can’t get out of my house at all. I’m thinking about trying Sarcosine but I can’t seem to find a buyer anymore that sells it in powdered form. Maybe someone can PM me a link?
Anyways I live in the Alabama countryside now so not that many cars until I get to the downtown area of Columbus GA. I just dread it.
I’ve improved on every level, depression, voices, mood, expression, responsibility, etc you name it. It feel like I don’t have schizo anymore except for this stupid paranoia with driving
I don’t know what to do. I can go to my VA doctor anytime with walk ins but I gotta drive 25 minutes there. I didn’t go to my dental appointment yesterday either that’s an hour away.
Now I wish I had gone but I wish it could of been closer which it can. There is a VA hospital at the army base here. I’ll figure that out later. Today is the independence of my little micro nation 6 years now. We’re having a wood burning festival, fireworks, and a surprise for everyone.
It’s just this paranoia of driving. I have to go to the fireworks dealer 8 mins away in the countryside for the fireworks that I still haven’t bought yet tomorrow. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with this BS. It sucks. I just need a hug from my wife right now and my two boys.
I’m still here and I won’t leave this beautiful planet. I want a moment to be real with everyone to feel like I belong, I’m not afraid, I want to tell you who I am, I know who I am, I want a moment to be real and hold on, how can the world want me to change when they stay the same? No one can tell me who to be, I just got to be me.
With everything I’ve gone through, all these wispers and lies I’m still here, I want to feel things I don’t feel, I want to be purely normal, and I’m almost there but not yet. But some day I will.
I just need help 


I too feel uncomfortable at times when I drive, unfortunately it is often a necessity if you are able to operate a vehicle. Maybe you could minimize your driving and otherwise take a mini break. And when you return to the wheel condition yourself to know you are most likely safe driving if you practice safe techniques
i don’t like that