I just woke up from a dream about my therapist. We were on the phone as usual when there was a really long silence. I was panicking because I had too many thoughts to speak and the silence just kept getting longer like 5 minutes. Which made it harder to break.
Then she broke the silence and said “see what we just did there is really unhealthy, it’s okay if you need to talk less. Plus I’m beginning to get annoyed and no one deserves that”
So I said sorry for being annoying and that I’m afraid to stop talking to her because we’ve been speaking for years now. And then she said well that’s a problem and I need to learn to handle things on my own. So I said “I feel like you’re abandoning me” and she didn’t say anything so I said “I think I should just go”. I planned to just never talk to her again. Then the dream ended and I woke up.
The dream took place in my childhood home too which is problematic. I know it was just a dream. But now I’m going to feel weird about therapy. My one safe place.
I don’t want to ask if I’m annoying but I also feel like I have to know. And what does this dream mean? Does she secretly hate me and is looking for a reason to end the client therapist relationship? Is she actually annoyed? Does she think I’m beyond needing therapy in my recovery?
Idk man but now I’m worried. Okay rant over.