I’m not gonna pull through this I guess. Thought it would get better with time but I’m permanently screwed. The illness has taken its toll.
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What do you mean you don’t have schizophrenia?
I’m sorry, my brain isn’t really on the ball this morning?
What’s happening?
I’ve got bipolar with psychotic features and catatonia.
My brain is frickazie. I can’t continue on any longer.
Thanks turtle
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The treatment is probably the same. I wouldn’t get hung up on a diagnosis. Don’t get down about it.
We all used to be “somebody”. It’s just now we’re somebody else. You’ll recover. Just don’t give up.
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I agree with @everhopeful the treatment will be the same. And there is a lot of different treatments to try so don’t give up too early.
I’m sorry you’ve been diagnosed with such a pervasive mental illness. It sucks, but stay here and ask for as much support as you can, we will help you.
Please don’t give up. There will be better days. There will be hard days as well, but I’m sure you’ve got the strength you need to get through it.
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I’m no longer myself I can’t function because of a lousy chemical imbalance. More like brain damage.
I don’t think they will ever find a cure for this nonsense.
I agree with you, I don’t think they will find a cure in our lifetime. But in the meantime there’s plenty of treatment out there to try.
I’m really sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment.
Are you on meds currently?
Are you depressed?
I take 30mg of Lexapro for depression and it seems to work. I take 12mg of invega for schizophrenia and I’ve just has a really low dose of seroquel added for the moment because I’m allegedly experiencing more “symptoms” of schizophrenia.
Yup all of the above. It’s brain damage.
I take 40 of Lstuda 150 of lamictal and 15 Prozac.
The meds were supposed to pull me out of a deep post psychotic depression. I think that they’ve made me worse.
Maybe it’s time for your psychiatrist to start thinking about changes to your regime if it’s not working, indeed if it’s making you worse.
I wonder if you can tell me a bit about your life. I’m sorry but I don’t know you very well on the forum. Do you live with anyone? Do you come from a big family? Do you work? Do you see a therapist? Do you live in America? I live in Australia.
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Australia sounds nice. I had a friend from Australia once.(back when I could have friendships). We lived in the same ski town here in the states. I was born in Canada but I grew up in New Jersey. I’m the first child of four. The other three are very successfull as are my parents. I had a wonderful childhood. Received a great private education and went off to college in Vermont at the university of Vermont back in 1996.
I was a heavy pot smoker and used other drugs as well. That began my downward spiral into rehabs and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I finally relocated to Los Angeles California for one last attempt at my sobriety when I fell for a girl and left the program. That began a terrible relapse and I used hard drugs until ultimately I ended up behind bars. After a short stay in the county jail I went to one lady program that was very intense. I did very well there, made friends and was able to handle the challenges that the rehab put forth. I had a close friend in there, his name was mark, we shared a room with one other guy. Mark overdosed and died one day and soon their after I had my first psychotic break. It was really bad I ended up back home in New Jersey with my family at their house. They took me to Belmont Massachussets to Harvard McLean hospital to get help. That is where they diagnosed me with atypical bipolar disorder. That was September of 2001. The same time as the World Trade Center attacks. That was the left time I was ever truly myself. It’s been hell ever since. Ive had 8 more psychotic breaks since then. My personality has deteriorated to the point where I’m completely disabled I get treated like an outcast every were that I go now. I simply can’t hide the fact that I’m mentally ill. Not sure where I’m going with this but thank you for asking. Sorry about the long post, but I just can’t hang in there anymore. The hospital is not an option and yes I’m very depressed. I am on lamictal but it makes me so strange. Prozac is what usually helps but I can’t take a high dose yet or else I go nuts. I have been working with a very good doctor who told me that she could get me better but I would never be “fine” I would always struggle. I have come to the end I’m afraid. My mind is not there anymore, I’m 39 years old healthy physically but I’ve been battling setups mental illness since 24. I’m afraid I’m going to be another statistic.
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@MeghillaGorilla1 , you’ve got to keep fighting . There’s new meds on the way all the time. You’ve been through a lot. You achieved a lot.
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There ar so many non shizophrenics on this forum…they should rename it or something.
Thanks for sharing your story with me. I’m sorry you have had such a hard time and seen a lot of tragedy.
My doctor is pretty much of the same opinion. He thinks that no matter what medication I’m on, and I’m on the strongest dose of invega, I’m still going to “hallucinate” and have “delusions”.
Are you in New Jersey now? Where do you live now?
I’m 35 btw so we’re sort of close in age.
I can’t make friends either. I have some work buddies that I have coffee with but if they ever ask me to do anything outside go to the coffee shop we go to everyday, I back out. Outside of work, it’s just me and my partner.
I moved to where I live in Victoria about eight years ago and I haven’t made a single friend in that time.
My best friend, outside of my partner, is a “hallucination” who periodically tells me I shouldn’t exist.
I’ve just recenlty tried to give up a codeine addiction. IT’s tough going because the codeine was giving me confidence to speak to say hellp to people at work. It was also giving me an outlet. I don’t have anything to replace it with and I’m having a really tough time giving it up.
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Thank you @anon84763962 for reaching out. You sound very nice and I’m sure that like me there are plenty of people out there that would want to be friends with you. I do the same thing, I back out. That or I isolate for months and months on end. I was likeable before this illness. It’s amazing to me how things can change in the blink of an eye. Now I self stigmatize. I am my own worst enemy. But the power of the psychotic breaks is so extreme that I just can’t forgive myself for being the way I am. I’m glad you were able to fnd a partner that’s great. I have had women show interest in me but I’m a lost cause. I have nothing left to give anyone. All I can do is take.
My family is supportive and loving but I’m an emotional burden. It wasn’t as bad in my twenties because I had no idea what I was up against(this illness). Now that I’m 39 I realize how much life I lost.
I heard it gets harder as you get older too. I’m a failure. All those years of school for nothing. I can’t even complete a thought. @everhopeful. It’s going to take a miracle med to make us better. I don’t see how they will do that. But thanks
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I’m 47 it’s been getting better for me. I really feel for you. I am very fortunate that my meds work so well for me. I do great but still don’t have much of a social life . I’ve accepted that I am just a introvert and vim ok with it. Maybe it’s time to change meds ,sounds like you only have room for improvement. Don’t forget about your family I’m sure they love you.
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Thanks @5713 I don’t know how they feel. I feel unloveable because I don’t do anything. They have nothing to be proud of. It’s sad
I failed university, and I still feel like a bit of a failure because of it. It’s not the end of the world.
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I feel for you, MG. The only advice I can give is don’t keep testing yourself. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself more time to get to know the reasons you do as you do. For example, I have a lot of difficulty when it comes to saying “yes, I can do that” to kids. So I don’t spend a lot of time with them, just enough to make me aware that it is difficult for me and not everyone. So other people can fill in where I can’t do. It’s important to know that I don’t have to be god. I can have a weakness.
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