Does this make any sense?

I have this problem with the way that I think. I’ve tried to describe it to a doctor and a therapist and neither had anything to say about it.

My thoughts used to flow freely, quietly, and naturally. Now they are less “thought like” and more like me talking to myself inside my head.

For example, in the past I might have seen rain and automatically grabbed an umbrella. Now I see rain and have to say in my head, I need to go get an umbrella. Like all the words in a complete sentence. And that’s how all my thoughts are these days. Me speaking complete sentences in my head. If I try not to do it, it’s like I completely stop processing information until I start talking out loud in my head again.

It’s really exhausting. Plus it makes me a really slow and inefficient thinker.

Also, it has nothing to do with medication.

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huh, I never noticed it but I think I do that too…always talking to myself…I think mine is because I am always alone and just talk to myself…I am sorry you don’t like it…I wish I knew how to fix it…I don’t… @anon1517417

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Thanks @jukebox! I think I talk to myself in that way too, although this almost feels like a thought disorder or brain damage. Like I have to verbalize my thoughts inside my head in order to get the information.

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it’s “thinking out loud” even if you don’t speak the words…sorry it bothers you…I thought mine was just old age mumbling to myself…haha

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I do this, too. It’s like I’m subconsciously hyperaware of my thoughts now, like I have to keep tabs on them to keep them from going off the rails again. :woman_shrugging:

I don’t know if that’s the case for you (or me, really). I hope you can find your answer. It is frustrating, I empathize.

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That could be part of it. I developed PTSD from my psychotic break and became deeply distrusting of my mind and all of my thoughts. Maybe I’m just hypervigilent with my thinking now.

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I suffer from this too. That’s how you describe it. One thing i notice is that the tongue moves all the time like i’m really talking, but i’m really just thinking.

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You move the tongue too when thinking @anon1517417? I asked a girl someday and she spokes that she moves too. But i think that she isn’t sz… so…all of us makes this?! Haha

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Sometimes I’ll mouth the words or speak a few or all of them out loud without realizing it. I never used to do that. I’m very self conscious about it at work because I think it makes me look stupid, like I’m always struggling to understand things. I guess that I am though.

Please don’t fret about it…it’s natural…I am very careful when it comes to believing what my mind throws at me sometimes…like I do believe I have always been open to the spirit world…that was way before I got sick and I have more than a few experiences with the spirit world speaking to me through dreams or visitation of my grandfather…now I believe I have a spirit portal that has been with me in three different states where I’ve lived…

I hope I am trying to say that I too am careful what my mind does…and mouthing the words while I think happens to me too…I do affirmation in the mirror…helps me maybe try that…just speak to yourself about you.

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Thanks. You guys have made a good point about being sort of overly aware of our minds and self-monitoring. If I think back to the first couple years after my psychotic break, I can remember being frightened of my thoughts and doing this very consciously. Now it’s been a little while and maybe I’ve forgotten that I’m doing it because now I’m just used to it.

I can imagine believing in something like a spirit portal before my psychotic break, but only because I would enjoy believing in it and it really would be of no consequence. Now it would just be terrifying. I hope this is not a distressing belief for you.

The condition is probably temporary. I wouldn’t worry about it.

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no I embrace it…it happened a long time ago when I prayed that I could help pray people to Heaven and then ever since the spirit portal presence has been in every bedroom that I’ve had in three different states…I am not scared of it, but it is uneasy sometimes when I’m trying to go to sleep…it’s their faces…they get right against mine unless I close my eyes…stuff like that…it only happens when there is a spirit…after I say “go to the light children” they disappear…

This happens to me too.
It is pretty annoying I do prefer when my thoughts just passed by automatically and quietly. But I guess there’s a reason as others have mentioned about distrusting ones own thoughts from the past psychosis.

I guess it may improve with time

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I feel like this can be due to APs. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I no longer have this issue.

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@anon1517417
I run through a list of things to do… I say, often, out loud… ok ok ok… and then tell myself what I need to do. I stay more organized, and forget less.

It looks like this may be our way to make sure that we do what we need to do.

So, what, if it’s not second nature anymore? I think you’re awesome! Don’t give up!

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