Does sz make you seem ‘fake’ (or distant/closed off) to others

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Reasons it might for me.

  1. Worried about what i think/say if someones listening in.
  2. Wanting to appear normal to strangers and pseudo-acquaintances (ex: lying to a neighbour i work when i dont).

I just realized i put in a lot of effort to seem normal, as im sure many of you do as well. Feels like i have to lie or exaggerate what im doing in life to not draw attention to the fact im half way to being a bum. Even with people that know im sz, i still lie to them, not professionals -just people (pseudo-friends).

Thoughts?

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Yes! I put a lot of effort into seeming “normal” to people, which makes me feel fake. It’s not like I interact with people a ton nowadays, but I felt this a ton when I was working and communicating with my coworkers. It was actually exhausting

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I don’t lie and say I have a job but I did say I was a student for a long time when I was doing a easy online course .

I don’t tell people about my schizophrenia mainly because my family do nt want me to and the stigma.

I have difficulties around people including my own family :open_mouth:.
I can feel awful around my family and be unable to feel relaxed around even them.

At my card making course I was asked if I work and I said no but luckily something happened so they did not ask any more questions.

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I just can’t be with that zest of life and that is a huge difference internally although people may not notice soo much when with me but I feel it.

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I’m sure I do seem fake to anyone who is paying close attention because I do fake it a lot. I have to to appear normal. Oh well, what else are you going to do? Can’t run around like an ass hole all the time. And then when I’m having symptoms I withdraw from my family as well because it hurts to be with anybody. Either I’m letting them down or they are letting me down. That’s how that works in my sick brain.

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I have to say it’s so tiring trying to be normal. And it’s not good for my soul. Feels like I’m suppressing life

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Yeah i know what you’re saying. When symptomatic its painful to be around family, for a variety of reasons.

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No, I don’t lie to people. I don’t tell the truth either. People don’t need to know anything. They don’t need to know I’m sza. They don’t need to know I work or don’t work either. I just leave a whole lot of holes in my story. And you know what? People don’t ask any questions. People just don’t care. And that’s alright by me.

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I ran into some old friends while going for a walk yesterday. They asked me if I was in grad school yet lol. I told them I’m still in my undergraduate because I took time off to “work.” What people don’t know won’t hurt them.

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I have mastered the putting on a mask to appear normal. and yeah sometimes you have to stretch the truth a bit, because if you told someone the whole truth that may not fully understand your situation it may make things a bit rocky.
I also withdraw a fair bit too because I cant always cope.
Just do what you need to do to keep on going.

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