My family has always done this to me, they’ve always been actors rather than parents, they’re cold and calculating. They neglected and abused me and control me to benefit them, but when they forget about what made them angry or unhappy they put on an act of caring and being remorseful or super supportive, but in the end they always just want control, they don’t care about my emotions or well-being at all, because when I try to repersonalize my mind they always tell me what to do like I am their puppet. They never wanted me to succeed, they set me up for failure and I depend on them for everything. Its so phony I can’t open up to them or associate with them anymore. Is everyone so phony? Is this normal for anyone else? I’m so lonely.
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Wow can totally relate to this. I too came from an emotionally abusive and very toxic family and they too pretend to be caring, saying that all their abuse and manipulation is just out of “love” or whatever. It has always been like this, my mother especially (in my father’s case it’s the same, but he hides it better). I’ve given up on trying to make them understand me, they only care for themselves. It’s sad, but true. I’m sorry you have to go through this also 
Both my family and my in-laws do this. Its aggravating and messes with my self-esteem.
Yes.
I can relate to this.
The one they said was my father hated me since I was born and pretended to love but he did not have any for me.
I do not see him as my real family n I disown him and his family.
I truly think I stopped loving and forgiving him.
He did not give me birthday or Xmas presents for while then all of sudden gave me xmas gift and I have never felt love come from him to me and I felt no love for him not even motherly.
He molested me and psychologically n mentally abused me and was not fair or good man.when I was psychotic i apparently gave in appropriate gift n now they even more say it’s all my fault and that im delusional and was never molested by that man who hates me n jealous of me n just wanted steal from me.
They blame the victim and the victim looks like the mad crazy delusional one who made things up but I did not.
The one they said was my mum hated me but had a drop of love there though but still lot of hate.
I still have love for her.
The step mum pretended to love me to get my trust and love n it worked cause I loved her.
I spoke four languages when I met her and had everything going for me so strange i then was molested and disabled by her them and her friends and she taught her children to hate and disrespect me since before they were born.
She made me stripper when I wasolder but only piece of meat cause they wanted steal light eons etc.stole money etc from me n they made a fortune of me n made me disabled but they gave me roof over head n nice place to live but I’m talking billions…
I was workaholic.
I have many enemies and can feel alone.
I never want to meet the “dad” one ever again or his side of family.
I swear he is not my father and I disown him.
I got gift from him this Xmas n thank god for it but I have had enough.
You forgive n forgive n love unconditionally n it seems a time comes when some people may not be worthy of it and you stop giving it to them and instead want nothing to do with them.
I am polite but I think honest and truthful.
I said “once a year is enough” but once s year is to often.
I think I may have a real family.
Theres this muslim man I used to think might be my real father but I just don’t feel like I have a real family.
I don’t feel da love.
I’ve never felt love from father one only hate for me come from him .
The other family I imagined were my real family … I’m starting feel paranoid about them too.
That they might manipulate me to get power of me and trick me and that they may not be my real family so right now I feel I don’t have a real family.
I used to think my horse might be my mum .lol
But she’s not n she’s hung out with my enemy too and although I still adore her I still bit paranoid about her.
If I meet them I am polite but I avoid meeting them.
The mum one is a bit “psycho” lol na but she has that kind of hate come over her sometimes n I think she wanted to kill me even some times but still she seems to have little love for me whether she wants to or not.
I avoid them but the fathers ones side of family I disown and never want meet again in any way shape form or name n if they act different they are still them.
Lots of mum ones side I don’t want to meet again either.
I long for a real family.
My family.
But I’m not feeling it any more.
I used to think I have a spiritual family but If so why were they associating with my enemy etc n why arnt they around etc.
Naaaa I do t think I have a real family is what feel like.
And ones that raised me I want distance my sf from.
I don’t want negativity n nastiness.
There is no love there.
I’m over it.
No point in keep meeting someone when it’s never nice etc
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My step dad talks bad about me to Phil
Phil tells me
I challenge them
They deny it and call him a big liar.
They hate Phil.
They hate me.
Not good for my mental health.
I’ve decided I’m not going there at Christmas.
I think the tabernacle choir will be on.
Don’t remind me. 
Yes. Mine are two faced actors who claim to give me unconditional love but who can’t accept who I am as a person.
Without writing an extremely long reply, my family has always had excuses when I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, in and out of psychiatric hospitals 17 times, lived in group homes for 6 years and an assisted living facility for one year, and last, but not least, lived in the woods for a month.
Summary
There was a point where a family member did let me live in an apartment that was attached to their house, but after a few months made a profoundly ignorant claim that people with schizophrenia pose a danger to children. I was asked to leave, so I left. The next few years were hell, but I got lucky when I met the right people who helped me turn things around.
Thus the short answer is yes.
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Sounds like you’ve been through a lot kindness.
You been hospitalised 17 times that’s a lot.
I think you said you have a girl friend now?
I used to think a muslim man who was my x might be my real father then I even had a short time that I considered Andy Garcia might be my real father lol then I realised the men could not be nor could the woman then I had spiritual experience of a angry man being my real father n he is always angry but is funny n does laugh as well and he loves me n does not pretend.
I have thought I bred myself or that im my own mother etc lol I’ve had few different thoughts bout it.
But yes I’ve been mostly mentally and spiritually and psychologically abused but also molested and strangled try drown me wtc
I think hope n longing for real family keeps me hanging to hope that I may have a real family out there that I approve of n that love me etc.
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Sounds like you’ve been through a lot, too.
Everyone deserves to be loved, so keep hanging in there to give love a chance. 
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That sounds like gaslighting… the crazy making behavior of being cruel then kind and then telling you they would never hurt you which leaves you to question your reality. Look into Narcissistic Abuse or Psychopathic Abuse. If you find that your loved ones have several of the traits, then speak to your psychiatrist or therapist. These types of abusers can cause their loved ones to experience psychosis. In the movie 1984 the protagonist is placed placed in a situation known as a double bind by the ministry of love. Here he is asked to answer questions and not matter what he answers he is punished all in the name of love. Gregory Bateson hypothesized that a person who was placed in a double bind could develop schizophrenia as a result. His theory was not proven, but there is something to it that could use further investigation. At any rate, it’s crazy making behavior and the fewer crazy things you have to deal with the better.
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If they start doing ‘thought broadcasting’, you will know they are just crazies. This is bothering you about something private like parrot to what you are thinking or tell you where you just returned from…Sadly, there are a lot of people who deal with a little psychosis by verbally harassing someone. I wouldn’t answer this kind of stuff, especially out in public as it can get you feeling really bad or harmed by wrong kind of people. Sadly, some churches made this a tenant of ‘born again Christian’ to mistreat people like this and starts to look like discrimination from pre-1960s…Wouldn’t get involved in this crap. Really can get you hurt as these kind of churches are just the wrong people - lot better off if people who act like this don’t know you. Family who act like this can be managed… Read up!
You will probably find ‘Toxic Family’ book to be invaluable. Section on coping should be required reading for all adults…
If you end up in professional work, may need to leave certain verbally abusive family (formerly called ‘spastic’) at home and do not eat out in public. May see groups of people eating out together and just talking crazy stuff to bother neighboring tables - called guided conversation. However, this crap can get you in VERY big trouble if you reach decent employment…May need to avoid lunching/drinking with coworkers at restaurants with verbally abusive staff too…
How it can go female: Ran across wealthy person lately who wouldn’t leave you alone. Touch of the voices started for you when you refused to show up when voices demand it…When you are out in public, people around you start to tell you what you are thinking, they know your name, you get called names or spat at…Female goes out to lunch date with business contact and several people around her and the help at restaurant are thought broadcasting - talking crazy to her. Lots of times the business lunch mate doesn’t know anything is wrong but is majorly distracting. Then the people at the apartment start to act nuts towards you and weirdos start to bother you…Most of the females go back to ex-boyfriend who was ‘last good one’ and ask to shack or rethink things as long as he isn’t calling you a headcase, some of the males actually get bothered too – two people together keep the vandals, weirdos, discrimination and thought broadcasters away. (If female decides she wants to be alone, will be pursued badly for years possibly, even after moving. Is very common to move for job and discriminated against or apartment situation turned out to be hellishly nutty people…Better to go back to family to keep the wrong kind of men off as these weirdos turn out to be baby killer sometimes and Mom goes to jail for good for taking the man who wouldn’t leave her alone (called Jesus by wrong people)).
If approached by stranger talking something private about you, can be helpful just to chat for a while to see if you are meeting professional workers or nuts. These folks know a lot about local area and how the business runs at work…If there is respect, holds down professional employment and some education, these are frequently a first marriage. HOWEVER, these people are ‘conditional’ so they may dump you if voices ever demand it like stressed, tried new church, too friendly to other males??? You need to be able to support yourself if you accept one of these…If you get all weirdos, you need to ignore these people.
My in-laws are mental care and NEVER gave a damn about me during my break, PTSD discovery or paranoid schizo start – work, self support, independent living, home ownership, friendships, schooling, travels, celebrations… You get it.
My brother-in-law used to tell me helpful stuff about psychosis until it started for me, then told you ‘YOu have to talk to your mental care at the county clinic.’ My parents were also told just to deny everything I said and call it delusional…I don’t go to any events with my in-laws any longer btw. At least I can still choose if we will sit in the same room or not.
My Dad can be very emotionally abusive. He barks and snarls and bites my head off and then later acts like nothing happened. He has caused a lot of damage to me and my little brother. He has never been even remotely loving, compassionate or caring. He goes between abusive and neutral. He is also the most horrible gossip. He has always talked bad about us kids. He has a big, fat, gossiping mouth. Sometimes I hate him but then he goes back to being hunky-dory again. It’s hurtful and frustrating.
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Good to see you’re still around @Stillperkin