I’m normally the smartest one in my family so hearing that I’m delusional, especially where I believe I had a bout of faking this disease at 18-19, is troubling. Now I don’t know how to trust others or even myself. I just got on haldol and my capgras delusion went away but what if something else did that? I don’t know just a lot of questions.
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You need something to take the place of the delusion. Can you find something to give yourself a pat on the back about?
Why do you think you were faking? Maybe you weren’t and we’re just in denial. Maybe it felt better to deny it as really happening to you and just convincing yourself that you were faking
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What is a capgras delusion?
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It’s when you think people around you are clones of the original person.
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I’ve never heard of that one
Now it sort of came back because my friend says there could be cloning out there secretly. The world is so big that we don’t know. Threw me off a bit.
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Believing you are faking this illness is a sign of being unwell with schizophrenia
I was pretty unwell during the time
I called it faking it because I couldn’t believe I was unwell as all the signs were saying
It’s a form of denial
Please take your meds you will get better
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I think I get what you mean about feeling like other people are clones. I have had this sensation sometimes too. But the logical explenation is that I am the one who has changed, not others, on account of taking medicines that messes with my brains perception of the outer world. I can feel that my mind is a lot different on meds than before I started with them. It’s kind of like living in a alternate reality perception wise.
But I felt like I wanted to be a mental patient. I answered questions in a way that I knew I would get a diagnosis even though I felt like I had those symptoms. I read about symptoms before talking to the therapist. Doesn’t this make me a faker?
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No
It’s a mind set
You need to keep seeing a doctor
What do you mean by it’s a mindset?
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I mean you are unwell
It’s just hard for you to see it when you’re in it
You have schizophrenia and it has many ways of telling you that you don’t have it
The idea that I was faking it went on for about a month while I was in hospital !
I used to want to call it schizoaffective because it was an affectation of schizophrenia !
I’ve been where you are
Please take meds ASAP!
I mean it’s like a delusional mindset
It’s a frame of mind where you are convinced you can’t have schizophrenia because you are faking it
That is how you feel
But it’s not how you will display or even be it’s not possible
It’s just not how people work
The thing that makes me feel better is there is 20 million people with schizophrenia. If they were to take me away in 10 years it would be out of a 1000 people. If I am to think rationally the odds are that I’m just schizophrenic. Or bipolar. Probably triggered from using too much adderall. Still feel guilty because this is what I wanted to be seen as mentally ill. That’s what throws me off. But I read other people online feel the same way.
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Yea as a teenager I really wanted to be mad
I was different as a child quite literally
So “mad” wasn’t far away from what I ended up wanting for myself
How old are you?
A lot of people have pretty early onset
I’m 30 years old. Another thing I worry about was whether I was a terrorist. I took a class on terrorism/Israel and later on now I think I was a terrorist based on how I dressed and the things I wrote. This really throws me off. I think they would have captured me if I was though right? I thought they were but then I went to a bed and breakfast and was safe with my boyfriend who I think is the devil. Now I’m supposedly like a Mason so I was kept safe but now I feel like I have only 10 years. But now I think they want to punish me by turning me into the dictator of North Korea through plastic surgery because I was a terrorist. The people in my family and my boyfriend think I’m not. But they love me so maybe that’s why they think that. I would take pictures of religious books and would write scary writings when I was on adderall.
I wrote a post but see I didn’t do it directly to you.