These anti-psychotics have made feel emotionless. I can’t enjoy anything. I feel no pleasure. It’s not like this some times it’s like this all the time. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year. I always feel exactly the same, and nothing I do ever changes this. I’ve been like this for six months, ever since I was hospitalized the first time. I wish I could go off meds, but I’d be thrown back into the hospital. I feel trapped, I feel like I’m stuck. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do, because god knows I can’t stand living like this much longer. My doctor says it’s negative symptoms of schizophrenia. I don’t know what the hell it is but it’s the most horrific feeling I could ever imagine anyone going through, I’d rather be under anesthesia then like this.
negative symptom and medication can mimic each other.
I felt exactly like you did just a few years ago. I was sure it was negative symptom too. But then my meds got switched up and WOW has life changed so much in two years. So it might have been a bit of both just making my life worse.
It could be a little of both, meds and negative symptom. I’d say since your still trying to fight it and you still have some will to try and get over this… you might want to talk to your doc about the med situation.
My family had to sort of document my stasis and nothingness before the doc decided to do anything. Plus I told him I felt so horrid I either wanted to throw all the pills away and be manic or I wanted to die as soon as possible.
You don’t have to be dramatic like I get… you could also just talk to a different doc. Second opinions aren’t against the law or anything.
I’ve been off meds for a month now. My personality has changed and it feels like I have a identity again. I am more joyful. I am still detached from my emotions, most commonly sadness. Wait is that a bad thing?
I would love to be off meds but then they I’d end up in the mental hospital again. Also what was your diagnosis?
Aren’t you afraid of being put back into a mental hospital.
I’m NOT saying be off the meds, I’m saying have them adjusted. I was on 150 mg Seroquel and 100 mg Zoloft.
I was a zombie. I sat very still for many hours in a day.
I’m now on 50 mg seroquel with 40 mg latuda and 20 mg xanax and I’m doing much better. Life is vastly different for me.
What is your diagnosis?
Currently… Undifferentiated SZ with a healthy dose of disorganized, lower on the paranoia. But I think my docs now think I’m changing again and sliding back into schizoaffective disorder. Maybe I’m in a swing again.
Well, things have been going well off them. I am not afraid to go back to the ward, life delusional was more interest. Although I believe I will be fine off of them. Antipsychotics are not to heal the illness. Most antipsychotic are to block dopamine and serotonin receptors, changing the thought process and negatively effecting some other factors of the brain. When you go off a antipsychotic, your receptors become unblocked, changing the brain chemistry, making it a higher risk of becoming psychotic. Meanwhile, these receptors of the brain are not even proven to be the cause of schizophrenia.
I find the lack of emotions to be comforting I’ve always looked to vulcan’s as something to aspire to. I’ve always been a relatively emotionless person except that one time when I was in love.
I’m on seroquel and cymbalta. I really doubt lowering the dose will make a difference. In fact my last doctor always wanted me to increase the dose, she thought that would help. I’ve increased dosages before and it showed no difference. So for you changing the dosage made it work?
Yeah, lowering the seroquel specifically. But I had the latuda added in. So it wasn’t just cut the meds and replace it with nothing. It was cut one thing and put something else in it’s place.
Sort of like cake baking. It wasn’t just cut the white flour a lot and there’s your cake… it was cut the white flour down and add a different flour with it… there’s the cake.
But what if you end up back in the hospital, they can keep you there as long as they want. Even if you get out they can put you on Assistant Outpatient Treatment.
How long did you feel like, how I feel?
About three years of gradually getting worse and worse an most likely a full year or so in shut down. I could get up with help, get to my part time job with help, come home and sit very still for 18 more hours.
Not worried about it. Since I’ve been off them my positive symptoms have gotten better. Less voices, and no delusions. Pdoc was surprised, told me people who go off meds usually become psychotic again. I felt unconnect from my emotions for 3 years, just complete emptiness living in hell on earth.
It’s not that type of emotionless. This is not something you aspire to have. You don’t aspire to be at a place where you’d rather be under anesthesia then live. LIving like this is pure torture. I wish someone would just put me out of my misery.
Come on mood shift shift back to good again
That’s weird it never got better or worse for me. It just stayed at this level of no mood change and no emotions. Nothing can shake that feeling of emptiness.
What? I don’t understand