Schizophrenia.com

Feeling numb

Anyone else here feel numb from their medication? I dont really feel any excitement or passion while I am on my meds. I just feel like a coffee drinking robot. I almost miss being psychotic, paranoid, angry at life. Now im just tranquilized. I think this is a serious problem with treating schizophrenia; people become the opposite of who they were before medication. People become their medication.

You should stay on your medication or find ways to alleviate the loss of emotion by rewarding yourself and congratulating yourself on your accomplishments, make short-term and long-term goals etc.

I don’t have symptoms much anymore. Well, I was off Abilify for one month after telling my psychiatrist I was planning on keeping the baby since I was pregnant. I had a Baptist friend who convinced me it was a sin to have an abortion. I ended up going through with the abortion and he harassed me over it and stole my expensive laptop. That month I didn’t have any symptoms, until the very end when my imagination got carried away with anxieties so I took Abilify immediately when I noticed that I was feeling paranoid.

In the hospital I wasn’t treated right so it left a lot of confusion over my disorder since I was told that asking to leave was a symptom of psychosis, and there were long periods of time I was stable without medication before I succumbed to coerced to take them from parents. I feel like there could be alternatives available that are less harsh and more restorative to the nerves and synapses in the brains of people with schizophrenia.

I think it’s possible that seizures are an aspect of schizophrenia, there is a such thing as prefrontal seizures that are hard to detect and I have had seizures from some medications like Seroquel. When I’m off medication, in the past, I recall heightened sensitivity to noise, TV’s, bright lights, high FM frequencies.

I was able to project my thoughts in such a way that I actually heard an entire thought sequence I was having played back to me when I turned on the radio through the speakers, instead of hearing the radio–I heard my internal thoughts. That is why occasionally I’ve had delusions of thought projection. The worst instance of this was when I was on Geodon and it enhanced the symptoms. I had a complete episode while at a museum while pretending to be normal. I thought the police were after me, and projecting radiowave weapons at me and subliminal messages were being beamed from the Mcdonald’s inside.

I used to get so anxious because in restaurants I had some OBE’s where time would appear to freeze, and I would notice men with earpieces. On a cuple occasions very old people have stood up or said they were hearing voices around me. It is odd. I had a man in the psychiatric office lung towards me when I was in the first stages of psychosis whisper and then had tics. He thought I was afraid or something. I had a severe fear that I was being brainwashed that has taken forever to overcome.

I would look across the room to other offices and think about the older patients now reduced to drooling catatonics with no hope and no emotion. But that hasn’t happened to me. I’ve recovered and I’m always evolving and learning ways to control my symptoms when I see them come up.

I think Abilify is pretty good because it doesn’t completely ruin you, it does numb you out somewhat but in retrospect I’ve always been a bit melancholy and reserved so it works well for me.

That’s exactly how I feel on this medication Abilify, like a robot with no emotions. I can’t enjoy anything, I don’t want to do anything, even food taste like sand. But I thought you said this medication Geodon makes you feel like you were before schizophrenia?

Im also on xanax and propanalol. I was formally evaluated about a year ago and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but my new psychologist thinks its an anxiety disorder with psychotic features. He thinks I show zero negative symptoms and he just keeps saying i look and speak nothing like his other schizophrenic patients, and that my symptoms are directly proportional to my level of anxiety.

Anyways, once my xanax kicks in, i lose interest in things and feel numb. I wait for it to wear off and lift weights every other day, but I still dont feel like a badass when I lift weights, the weights feel heavier than they used to and i have trouble finding motivation to workout. I immediately take another xanax when I leave the gym, i can tell i am dependent on it because I get racing thoughts and have akathisia without it.

The xanax has been useful though; ive been on dates and asked girls out, and im pretty successful with it. I used to be too anxious to approach girls but now I have come to my senses about my self image and realized that I should be proud, not anxious. That’s the flipside to my meds- they have me functioning, but functioning without much feeling. It’s strange.

I really dont mean to complain, i need to adapt to a new lifestyle, a higher functioning lifestyle. Lifting weights and playing video games might need to go in favor of going out in public and making new friends. I just miss having so much energy. I was actually planning on joining my gyms powerlifting team, but now i think i will just pass out if I try to push myself that hard.

i do not do meds but i relate to the song, and thanks for posting it.
take care

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