Nah I have survived some crazy ■■■■ and it gave me the same weird thoughts. I still don’t understand how I survived my overdose 8 years ago and didn’t even have any kidney damage or anything. When you struggle with delusion, extreme luck can mess with your head.
I don’t think you’re alone in that belief. I’ve known a lot of Christians who don’t have sz that feel that way. It just doesn’t go quite as far maybe. I’m not sure the details of your belief or if a specific religion is part of what you believe, but you’re definitely not alone in having to sort through a valid belief system from delusion. I’m a Christian and I believe God is present in my life, cares about me and directs me and my life in many ways. I won’t stop believing that; it’s part of my and millions of other’s faith. But I have delusions in regards to my role on this planet, angels that are with me…etc. Sorting through the details is difficult. You’re not alone.
I feel like God is protecting me. I’ve been in some pretty tight corners since I was diagnosed with SZ. Luckily - with God’s protection - I have made it out of those corners.
After a psychotic episode, I said it felt like being touched or controlled by the hand of God. I didn’t have any other fitting way to describe the experience.
I don’t know if it’s true or not, and I can’t understand why God would take the time to do this to me, but it made me feel important and my life had meaning and I still had work to be done.
So I recovered and I’m trying to make my life count somehow.
I don’t know if i am protected by God, but i do want to believe that I am someone special to God because of the two things. First, I saw God and Heaven in a dream once. Second, an Angel appeared to me at a church during one night when i stopped by to visit the priest. So i want to believe that maybe i am special to God, but how would you find that out?