I thought about giving C a child for a while, when he said he did want children (he only said this like once before because he knows I despise them).
I don’t remember what I said about not liking them and he said “yeah, I see the way you look at them.”
Am I alone in this? All the women I know (well the ones I’ve met in my town. L and K are chiller though.) have babies on the brain constantly. I don’t blame them though. I tried to supervise C’s niece and nephew during dinner at a restaurant and it was so attention consuming that I didn’t even hear any of the adult conversation. That did make me respect the mothers I know more. The thing is… most of the girls I know are already planning for a baby even though they don’t have a boyfriend. O.o
I live in a baby crazy area of the country. I just need to hear that I’m not alone.
I like them sometimes if they’re not clingy. They can be fun to converse with but having them? No thanks. There are plenty of children out there that need homes so I don’t know why some of those people who claim to love them don’t adopt a child in need.
No, you’re not alone. When I was from a small child to about age 20, I had “babies on the brain”, and I wanted a tiny baby to call my own so, so bad. I wasn’t going to be happy until I had one. So, I had one, and that was it. I was done with it. No more. Everything was terrible. The pain of labor. The hell of trying to find babysitters. The impossibility of trying to find housing for families with small children. The difficulty of raising the child in poverty. Everything. No. I wasn’t going to ever repeat that mistake again. And I didn’t. Now, I associate children with very hard times. So, I don’t like them. And I feel very sorry for their parents, and grandparents.
I guess I can sum up how much I do not want children and probably never will that I got a vasectomy before I was able to have any. I have several reasons for this but there you go. I read if I change my mind later they can extract sperm from me and an egg from the woman and throw it all together and put it back inside her. But my main concern was making it impossible to happen as an accident and that it would take deliberate time and effort to make happen with scheduling a doctor appointment and stuff instead of just happening overnight by accident, if ever, so I have time to think the idea through if I ever go crazy and think I want one for a day.
I grew up taking care of alot of family so kids don’t really bother me. Babies always have my attention beacause they deserver and basically are suposed to get spoiled (how many people do you know have never done anything wrong) and most little kids just want to be taken seriously (even if they dont know what serious is. Wich is fine they’re young) and they typically reciprocate.The idea of kids sounds awesome to me later in life. I would spoil the crap out of a little girl.
I never wanted to have children either, but now I am more open to having one or two. I am not fond of other people’s children, though. I am phobic to getting close to kids because they carry a lot of germs and are noisy and run around. But children have such nice qualities as well (like playfulness and honesty and innocence), maybe that’s why I am open to them.
Sounds like my friend’s brother who has no income because he’s waiting on a decision from social security for disability and he’s trying to hook up with a girlfriend already. Talk about priorities being out of order with these people. lol I have an income from social security disability right now and have for 6 years and I have no desire to even get a girlfriend because it’s just not for me at this point in time despite the concept of it can be nice.
“Lucky are those who have heard the word of the Father and have truly kept it. For there will be days when you will say, ‘Lucky are the womb that has not conceived and the breasts that have not given milk.’” [Gospel of Thomas]
I don’t have some religious allusion (or whatever) about the matter but still…
You’re not alone. I love kids because they’re creative and free and honest, but what I hate is the assumption of adults that everyone wants to have babies/kids and that everyone thinks their kids are as wonderful as they do. There’s a difference between not liking kids and just not wanting to take care of them (your own or others). After raising my son, who was wonderful to raise, I had zero interest in ever having more kids, or in taking care of other people’s kids. My husband’s family is baby crazy and I felt obligated to hold their babies for awhile, but finally just started saying no. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I want to hold everyone’s babies. I work with high school kids and I love them, but ghey’re really independent…
Children are people. Some are great; some are hard to be around.
If a person doesn’t want to have or raise children, that’s that. For people whose families or friends seem to be pressuring them to have kids, those pressuring people are woefully misinformed about what is their business and what is not.
I loved playing with my eldest niece but my energy often failed me and the APs made me too sedated sometimes to keep up. I was glad when I was relieved of taking care of her. It was tough to deal with her when she misbehaved because I’m bad with discipline. When I worked at the Library I worked in the Summer Reading Program and at first treated the kids like little adults. I later remembered some things about what it was like to be a kid and did a better job over time but I hated it when a parent left their kids at the Library and treated the staff like baby sitters. They would sit and read for a time but were soon getting into trouble as kids do. My disease amounted to very abusive voices for years which I didn’t change until last year when I realized my depression were making them that way. So when I was younger I saw the disease as Hell on Earth and didn’t want to ever risk giving it to another. Living with Mom repelled women too. When I moved into my apartment I thought maybe now I can have a girlfriend. But when I started paying my own bills I realized the financial situation didn’t add up. I wonder to this day how anyone on Medicaid make a relationship work out especially with kids. I have heard some of them do however. It must be something that defies the ideals of middle class society in America that I was brought up to believe in…Also it bothers me that being on Medicaid means being dependent on something like the government. I have heard that in some countries everybody who is disabled begs on the street corners and there are Americans who wouldn’t mind making the disabled in our country do the same in order to save taxes. So physically, psychologically. and financially I am not father material.
I used to want children but I decided that I shouldn’t have them and ever since I decided that, I’ve hated them more and more each day and now I can’t even be in the same room as a kid without getting angry
I don’t believe I make a great parent. I sometimes watch my partner’s little sister and her nieces. they don’t always listen to me. My partner is trying to convince me to have a baby when she gets her RN license or we could adopt. but i’m scared
Once more, it might just be my area, but it seems to me like some girls just want a baby or just want to get married just to have a baby or just to have a wedding. They didn’t seem to be taking their future partner into consideration. Maybe he is sterile and couldn’t love a child that isn’t his, maybe he has a debilitating illness that makes having a kid impractical, maybe he just doesn’t want a kid.
To me it seems they treat men like the doorway to their barbie dream life, not as human beings.
I wasn’t trying to say that loving kids or wanting a kid is bad. When I switched my major over to education I was in class with this one girl named R. R still has my intense respect because of how much she loves children. She wasn’t in the class because she wants and Mrs. degree, she was in there because she genuinely loves children. She loves other human being and that’s worthy of respect in my eyes.
