sorry pansdisease, our intenet here is filtered and i can not see your post, post yor comment again please, without a word which may be filtered, thanks
I donāt believe my illness is because of my sins. At one time I thought that my life was so terrible because of my sins, so I converted to Catholicism to confess to a priest my sins, and be absolved of them. That still didnāt make my life any better. Not going to Church for Sunday Mass is considered a mortal sin, and I havenāt been to Church in years. But I donāt think a good God would punish me just because I didnāt go to Church on Sunday. The Church only makes that a mortal sin because they want you to donate money every Sunday. I did go to Church regularly for a number of years, and I never made even one friend. And I used to confess even my venial sins to a priest. But the priests did not act as a merciful Jesus as they are supposed to, rather they were cruel to me. Why go to Church just so you can feel bad. I did have one good experience with a priest in confession when I was deeply psychotic. I confessed all my evil thinking, and he kept saying, āI donāt know you.ā I thought maybe it was a mini-exorcism. I was in so much pain, and I said to him, āDoesnāt other peopleās pain make people happy?ā He said, āIf I knew you, your pain might make me happy, but I donāt know you.ā After my confession he said to me, āThere have to be a lot of people who donāt know you, right?ā I said, āOh, I hope so.ā Because I was deeply paranoid at this point, and I had thought that everybody had known what an evil person I was.
But anyway, no, I donāt think peopleās sins cause schizophrenia. There are plenty of terrible people out there who do not have schizophrenia.
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Gee, thanks.
Did I forget to mention Iām not sin free? My sins have caused other things, just not my Sz. For me, Sz just isnāt a label, itās my life.
No, I donāt believe you get sz because of your sins.
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i think we are here to experience, through experience we learn wisdom.
are we being punished ?
is some one in a wheel chair being punished ?
as the buddhists say " pain is certainā¦suffering is optional ".
we are ā mentally ill ā so we can alleviate a lot of our suffering , not all .
take care
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I was being punished for my sins ;however I doubt thatās the only reason I was being punished. Millions of people commit sins everyday. I was told it was because my sin cup filled though Iām not sure that was the reason I was being punished. I noticed I was going through being punished and their goal of punishing me was not that they wanting me to turn over a new leaf and see my sins were wrong. They wanted me to acknowledge my sins and to just soak in it. To feel all the pain and just soak in it. They also wanted to manifest and make me into the sinful person of my sins ,because I might have sinned but I was no where near a really bad person and they just wanted to make me into that. They wanted me to know my sins and have it ruin my life. They didnāt want me to prosper. I was talking to some of the voices and they just wanted me not to succeed even if it meant being a murder. Iāve tried my hardest to say on the safest paths since my disorder has calmed down. Since I noticed a lot of people were in to church I even listened in to see what I could come up with on guidance since church was invented for schizophrenia patients. I learned a lotā¦
Every day i pray god for forgiveness, and i ask God to give me some clue some idea where i will come across with some herbs or vitamins that will replace my med, and it will make me 100 percent symptom freeā¦i believed in doctors, but after they made me handy cap, i started looking into homeopathic and supplements, so far God is leading me, and i am at my best. I enjoy life somehow, i go out whenever i want to, i hang out with friends every day. I donāt work right now, but i can. I am just concentrating curing my anxiety and my insomnia. Once i succeed in that too, i will not have any worries anymore.
If people got schizophrenia for committing sins, then most of the worlds population would be schizophrenic. Im talking about executives, politicians, actors, the list goes on.
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In my case, I donāt believe in that. Itās a bodily condition. Itās a track record of my familyās suffering. Sufferings lead to sufferings. Sufferings lead to disorder.
We have some genetic heart disease running in the family, which seems to be related to my disorder. My only elder brother was born malformed with a heart condition. He passed away not long before I was born. My parents wanted to have a boy badly to substitute for the loss but I disappointed them. My parents at the same time are meeting with tough economic change where the whole industry they worked on dies and have to close down their business. My father was running out of cash. He was unemployed and became a worker. When I was two to three, my mother entered employment market for the first time of her life to work as a cleansing worker, leaving me to my elder sisters to take care of. They resent that a lot. I think my family are dealing with a lot of stress and adversities before and after I was born. They used to live a wealthier life.
I seem to hit on every vulnerabilities factors except for the use of drugs. I even have a traumatic head injury. I am a kind and gentle person, who never brought my parents any trouble. People told me I am a really nice guy prior to the onset. Often caring and thoughtful. Some say I am the best person they have ever meet. No one could persuade me into believing it is because of my sins. There are however some people who want to make me believe I made myself into having this disorder, that I am behaviorally responsible to my illness and therefore I am responsible to fix it myself. Surprisingly, they are the therapist working for people with mental health problems.
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Yeah, I think you could be onto something. I actually believe there is a chance that itās something to do with sins.
I sometimes cannot accept there being a natural reason as to why I hear voices ā and so I often attribute it to God, as if thereās something He has a problem with me about. Itās possible.
Well we must of committed the sins before we where born since schizophrenia is a genetic disorder.
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i think like you too, itās very dangerous to think that illnesses are punishments of god, it will ruin humanity but in my case the relation between sin and illness was very obvious so this thought comes to me regularly.
yes generally you are right, but in my case which my illness was with severe physical pain even after forgiving my self nothing went better and just after taking meds i became better but i can see traces of god in my illness and in my becoming better, in case of children i dont have any idea.
at first this is not a rant, this is a wise man opinion, i understand what you say and it makes sense but please accept that judgement of god is a very hard thing to do if ever existed, i think even messengers werent able to understand god completely. proving god is sth hard even for my self because what you are saying is right and undisputable but meanwhile there is things in favor of existence of god, i dont know i just told my opinion about myself.
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i dont think that you are a bad person, at least you are not a liar and you dont deceive yourself, wish you success in your journey.
what you said is a good theory and it gives schizophrenics like us a chance to revive, you must forgive me my mind is full with the idea of god though am not very religious.
yes you are right, but this paranoia and negative symptoms are very similar to the definition of hell but i think not just sinners go to hell, others go to it too for unknown reasons, whatever we should try to go out of this hell.
sorry, i didnt want you to remember and mention such things, i think god forgives when there is no hope, try to gain your health sooner and by doing so you make us happy and you will vanish your sins by doing so.
nice to hear that, i think god instructs me in choosing meds too, hope you even better days.
you are right, i dont know why this is so, but in my case i see relation between sins and sz.