I don’t have positive or negative symptoms anymore, and I know for sure they are never coming back, but I cant seem to get out of the mindset that there is something wrong about my life. Like just under half my life I have had sz and I find it really hard to just pretend it never happened. I think I am relient on meds, but at the same time, I don’t think I really have sz if I keep taking them. I just kind of have the mindset that I am a bit messed up.
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How do you know your symptoms will never come back? 
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I tell myself the same thing, in my mind , my symptoms will NEVER come back.
(….but they might)
BUT still I tell myself they wont and I think that helps!
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If the meds are working that well you’re very lucky.
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Because I stopped hearing voices when I stopped believing they were real, and there is nothing that would make me believe in something that would class as a delusion again, I just don’t see how I could be that blind to do it again. I think if I stopped taking meds I would get stressed out and anxious a lot, but even then I would not start believing in something that is not provable.
I don’t mean to sound like a downer but
they may feel real because the illness has the power to do that but you would try to not believe it anyways. that is what happened to me. the second time round. if you are lucky they will never come back though.
idk. voices could still come back for other reasons. unless you are lucky.
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it is just my mind is very very weird in the sense that if I say out loud that I will NEVER have psychosis again, to people, then I feel like erm no honey. that is why I have to add that actually, who knows,i may relapse.
but in my MIND I will NEVER EVER relapse because I just have to believe that it is the first step to it being reality is believing it.(in my mind, not aloud to others)
idk why it is like that with me it is very odd.
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I don’t know. I just find it frustrating the whole concept really.
what is frustrating?
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also, although in my mind I believe that I will never have psychosis again, I need to be prepared for the idea of relapse if I come off meds, because if I am not prepared for it mentally then it feels weird. like I am being over confident of the ways things may work. so it is all a bit contradtcitory really HOWEVER, somehow it does seem to work in the sense that it feels right.to think like that. for me personally.
I don’t know, we just seem to have contradicting ideas on what makes you ill. Like a lot of people seem to think hallucinations seem to be random where as I see it as to do with the things you believe in.
I mean what could happen to me to make me lose insight? What would be the major change in my life. I cant really see one.
Yeah. I wonder if it has stages like other things you can have.
I seem to have a good year. Then maybe a bad year next.
non-alcohol is helping me to count the days again.
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I personally don’t think it is random. I am just accepting that maybe I do relapse because there is something I do not yet understand yet about the disease and that has caused me to relapse or even that I have done certain actions that have been so acute or so chronic that I am past the point of full recovery. that is just me being realistic. ofcourse I hope that I am not past the point of full recovery and I think believing that helps.
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iowhur9oiuwererwwerwerwe
hmm. you can do lots of things with a broken window pane.
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@Ninjastar @anon4362788 @rogueone @Moonbeam Can we close this thread. I asked a stupid question that there is obviously no answer to.
i would like to think so. but hypothetically, if i was given the choice to be medicated or not id rather be non medicated, given that i am safe to be non mediacted
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You got lucky, don’t lose your luck with stopping meds. Your mind will change without meds.
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i don’t think it was stupid at all if you ask me
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