Cause I turned bitter, even mean, aggressive in my thoughts. I was also suicidal, paranoid, anxious, somatizing, problems with the thinking. alone too. So I closed myself 17 years ago. I was almost inactive for this time. Ive seen people very few for this time. So do this thing make my symptoms worse now? I guess ive just spent those 17 years being sick 
.
Now I just take my meds and try to pay efforts. I wonder if I could have done it without meds in the time ago…
Take care
It’s good to take breaks but isolation is really never good.
I lose my senses in the evening. My emotions are dulled. Idk if its the isolation. I also have the impression to cant think. I just watch the tv and I don’t understand it… I continue thinking of course, but its some kind of dulled state… Before, I thought its my meds. But I think maybe its the illness.
Its good that I don’t feel like this in the day, I see some slight progress.
But do you think I shouldn’t give up after 17 years of isolation? This would have made mad anyone, its too much time…
I wish ive been treated earlier. Without switching the meds also… Idk, this dullness is painful too .
Humans are social creatures.
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ok, but I got asocial since many time… It sux… I got hurted that one pdoc told me I am a hard case. I think I am hard cause ive closed myself since decades… Its unfair that I got it in asociality, it made me mad…
Idk anymore how to not give up every evening, that’s all… My future is compromised.
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Go to the bookstore or something. What about a coffee shop? I used to play video games a lot. You can play with people online.
Isolation is not good for anyone especially people with a mental illness.
yeah, but in my case its done… i am a freak now. and i fight as a demon through the day. Its just that i am close to giving up having family. Ill get the ill zombie with no dreams that my mother wants me to be… I cant socialize often still, i am tired of trying. Ill do it when i can, but this is still a half life.
whatever, no point to complain. I should be autistic too, lol. Never met a sz who was isolated for two decades.
and sorry to all that i am so annoying. I should avoid writing when i am dumb like this. sorry for the negativity, yeap.
I was suggest forcing yourself to socialize. Do you have a mental illness club house near You? Maybe try a mental illness support group?
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I just heard on the tv yesterday some psychologist say that loneliness and isolation are as damaging as physical trauma.
Isolation isn’t good , and being in it everyday all day everyday isn’t healthy. My grandmother who lives with us has not been out in months , doesn’t want to go out , but she has us around her and constant visitors. She still gets very down … Even if it’s a walk round the block is so important to get out and take that walk.
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