It is selfish, but sometimes when you’re in so much pain, it can seem the only way out. I feel sorry for Robin Williams and his friends and family.
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I don’t think it is selfish because that is the only way out of your misery for some people. Sadly I do believe that it can have a domino effect on relatives and friends lives. My best friend comitted suicide 22 years ago. Two weeks later his mother died as a result of overdose of pills. 10 years later his aunt comitted suicide and two months ago his sister shot herself. I’ve also thought of and planned it a lot of times but I’m very happy that I’m still alive despite this disabling illness.
I attempted suicide, and I can say that it happens because there are no options. I just wanted out. No one understood, no one could help- at least I thought. I didn’t even understand what was wrong with me. I don’t think it’s selfish, I think it is like insanity- when someone thinks that they want to die to solve their problems, that is very sick and clearly their judgment is clouded. Besides, it’s relative to who the person committing suicide is- the head of a family is different than a 19 year paranoid schizophrenic living with his parents. I felt like my funeral would be really boring and people would not want to go.
For me it wasn’t selfish to attempt suicide, I really did want out, I was isolated, psychotic, living in a waking nightmare. If that’s not a good reason, I don’t know what is. Family and friends had been distant, friends more so than family. My friends came over and stayed for like five minutes during winter break and then left. Now I am “cool” again and they hangout with me a lot like they used to.
I’ll tell you who is selfish, its the people who neglect those who end up attempting suicide. My friends didn’t have an intervention with me, they just let me slip deeper into hell. My family? I think they just didnt want to deal with me. I had to demand to be evaluated a couple months later because I was falling to pieces and wanted to know what had happened to me and what was wrong with me- I suspected that I had schizophrenia at that point, I had been learning about it in class and I did match up with the paranoid subtype rather perfectly.
What happened was my parents and friends talked to me when I was given the diagnosis. They then paid attention because educated people have etiquette for people with schizophrenia, as schizophrenia is “trippy” and “all artists and writers have it” and “you must be a genius if you have schizophrenia”. No, it’s not fun, yes I might be more creative than most and possess above average intelligence, but it is not trippy, my case was not like Louis Wain’s drawings of cats.
My case was more like my own, as schizophrenia is different for every person who suffers from it. Some of you walk into a coffee shop unmedicated and might see humanoid lizards at the tables. Some of you might not see anything unusual but hear voices yelling at you and feel spiders crawling on your skin. I would walk into a coffee shop and I would see and hear people talking about me, even my best friends would casually make fun of me right next to me with people working at coffee shops, for example. I also heard three voices everywhere I went, two of which were evil and wanted me to commit suicide. I would think about delusions constantly, as my brain was feeding me hallucinations and I tried to make sense of them, which created delusions.
I didnt enjoy being psychotic, it made me want to die. I had lost everything except my scholarship to college, but I was smart enough to where even showing up but not reading or doing homework guaranteed a passing grade. Or reading and doing homework without showing up. Basically, if I try at all at school, I pass. I found myself isolated on winter break, it had been weeks of zero social interaction, chain smoking on my porch, playing the same video game in my room and not much else, other than being completely psychotic, of course. I just had enough. I didnt want to go back to school, I didnt want to go to sleep, I didnt want to endure another day of life, so I tried to make sure I didnt have to.
So no, suicide is not selfish in my opinion. In my opinion, it is the product of other people being selfish and not helping the victim. Like I said, I was avoided like the plague while psychotic. I still feel bitter about that. I sometimes think that my friends are fair-weather friends, as they werent around when I had a raincloud over my head.
It is almost like euthanasia to be realistic. I don’t support suicide but I understand why people do it. I mean if my life falls apart, if my meds quit working, if I go back to how I used to be, if I were to fall from the height of recovery that I have reached, I would contemplate suicide, at least think about it. I have two fellow schizophrenic friends now, so I would be talked down from it. Both are older than I am and have lots of experience with this illness. That and my doctors would notice if I was suicidal and have me committed ASAP. I’m on the very far end of the spectrum of recovery, the more I look back on how I was and how others with schizophrenia are, the more I realize how normal I seem. If I were to fall to pieces, I would talk to my parents, even if all I could communicate with was screaming and crying like I did at my worst, and they would get me committed to a mental hospital.
And my grandparents are extremely wealthy and would pay for the best treatment if I were to fall apart. I already see a 125/hour therapist and a very experienced psychiatrist. I would just take a medical withdrawal from school and get my ■■■■ together. I do have a plan for if I lose it again- it involves calling my schizophrenic friends, calling my doctors, telling my parents that its happening again, ect.
I had a weird day earlier this summer, I had disorganized thoughts, and I called one of my schizophrenic friends. I was not making very much sense, I remember being very confused and upset about the ending to Cowboy Bebop, a TV show. I talked for a couple hours, was apparently not sane, and then took a nap and woke up normal. At least I knew to call my friend.
Suicide is not a choice, it is when to your knowledge, it is the only choice.
As for Robin Williams, he must have been in great pain. I don’t blame people for suicide, I can’t, I attempted suicide, so that would be hypocritical.
I am happy to be alive, don’t get me wrong. But I also know how it feels to be not happy in the slightest to be alive and to believe that death is better. I was nearly killed when I was a little boy, I actually thought that my life was over. The acceptance of death came over me in a gentle way, it wasn’t all bad, I just let go and accepted that life was over. At first I panicked and wanted to live, but I realized that I was about to die and then just let go. I didn’t die, someone saved me, and it felt strange to have just accepted death and then to have found myself alive. I remember thinking of what could have been as I was drowning. When I attempted suicide, I knew what was ahead of me, to my knowledge it was a lifetime in hell.
Suicide is something I have been there and done that with. I wont do it again. I have too much insight and enjoy beating the odds too much. I take pride in being alive despite what my prognosis was. I am doing so well that I get frustrated with normal people problems like not having a partner. Lately I have been depressed because I havent ever had a successful romantic relationship but I feel like I deserve it because of the ■■■■ I have endured. And then when I do open up to people, when I tell them about my past, they often don’t want anything to do with me. I am dating a guy, however, he lives two hours away and is coming to stay for a night tomorrow. He knows about my past and is really sweet. On our first date he noticed the scars on my knuckles and didnt ask me how I got them, he just rubbed them and kissed me. Hopefully things will work out with him, distance is a problem but whatever.
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The only thing that suicide should be called is a Tragedy, because the person who commits it will never know just how much they were loved, and the people who loved them never get a chance to help them.
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It is the ultimate selfish act as you are making a decision that is just for you, you’re not taking into account what others would feel. I was actively suicidal for about a year, I was so wrapped up I my own hell I didn’t see the pain I was causing, I can make excuses, that it was because I was psychotic and thinking I was in an institution for political prisoners etc but actually, I was just so acutely unhappy and grieving for the person I could have been, I was angry because I didn’t want this path, I was hurt because I was alone and having memories of what was done to me. I didn’t want t be here and I’m going to be honest, I didn’t think at all of my parents, during that time I just wanted myself to go away. I didn’t think of the impact it would have had, that my uncle had only succeeded a year or so earlier. I didn’t stop until my mum said she’d stockpiled sleeping pills so if I succeeded she’d follow, then wham!! I realised what I was doing and that stops me now.
I know this will create different reactions, I just think that a lot of suicides don’t leave enough answers, it leaves guilt, a lot of pain, can create domino effect, frictions in once close families. I think the worst is the guilt or the feeling of, not being enough that they’d live for you…
I know, no person would deliberately inflict pain, it’s not selfish in that way, it is not selfish in the way they think of no other when planning, my uncle was near elated in those last few days he knew it would be over soon, I often think if he’d seen what it would do, whether he’d stop but I don’t think it would have. It’s selfish that way.
I don’t want anger, I’m just saying my opinion, yes I think it’s selfish and that’s coming from someone who still gets suicidal, and has lived through after effects of two suicides, I just have my wits now as to the impact it would have, but I still have my note, and I still have my plan, so I know it’s there, that’s selfish on it’s own.
I don’t want to upset anyone, I’m just trying to show what I think, I’m not saying it’s the truth, I’m not saying it’s the one and only opinion, I’m malleable…
Take care,
Meg.
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I think that when people commit suicide they’re at a point where they’re overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. They don’t see what effect their action will have on those around them. I think of selfishness as being more premeditated, where a person knows what they’re doing and are aware of the effects.
Every suicide is a horrible tragedy, for everyone involved. I had two friends who did it and even though I wasn’t really close with them when it happened, it still shook me up.
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People commit suicide for a lot of different reasons. It can be selfish.
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When I take a deep breath and look back on some of my journals from that time when I was slipping deeper and deeper… I did think I was doing everyone a favor. I would be helping people out by leaving this life and leaving them alone.
But when I woke up in hospital and saw how deeply traumatized some of my family was… then I did begin to regard it as a bit selfish. I know when I was in that deep… I wasn’t thinking of who would find me… the aftermath of finding me… the people who did love me and would be heartbroken… I didn’t think of them at all… I couldn’t.
There was an interesting conversation that happened with one of my siblings… who said that they had to see it as a selfish act because that made them angry… Being angry was easier then being heart broken.
I’m not saying it’s like that for everyone… It was just an interesting insight on why some of my family acted the way they did.
This keeps jumping out at me… I can understand why your angry… I’m sorry for that and I hope it fades eventually.
I just can’t place all the blame on the friends and family who have to deal with the aftermath.
Sometimes the people on the outside are pushed away and not given the chance to help.
In my attempt… I got very calm and I was giving my family a few good days before my departure. So to them… It looked like I was improving… when really… I was smoke screening. I don’t blame my family for not taking preemptive action.
I think there are too many factors that play out… and add up to a situation where no one wins.
Many of us have been on that edge… so we can empathize with people who are in so much pain they have to leave this life.
But I have also seen the damage to those left behind…
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I’ve had 2 suicide attempts. One at 18 years old. I was desperate. I felt so bad. Anxiety, depression, voices. I did not think what others might say. I failed. Then I started to believe I couldn’t die.
On attempt 4 years ago. Not really an attempt, I stopped in time and asked my husband to drive me to ER. I was going to od. I had not slept for 5 days and nights. I was not thinking clearly. The voices told me to stay away from the light.
When I attempted twice within a year to take my life I was in so much pain I was blinded to what it would do to those who love me…it was just like…TOO much pain…I still carry shame that I tried to take my life and that’s why I cry every time I’m happy now because at that time I laugh or smile I realize if I had been successful I never would have knew that happiness…suicide is a mistake. I think csummers put it the right way…suicide is not selfish, suicide happens when the pain of living outweighs the pain of dying.
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When I have suicidal thoughts the selfishness is an argument not to do it; I think about what it will do to my parents and brother. But you can also say it’s selfish of the people around you to want you to live, even though your in pain. They do it out of love, I know, but they can’t imagine how it feels. It’s a difficult subject. I guess if you had cancer and they could physically see your pain, they would feel different.
it is only selfish if you do it by yourself…’ group suicide activity day '…let everyone join in !?!
might not catch on though !!
take care
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The picture is scary… I cannot stare at it any longer.
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The message is power-full though…
I’ve been thinking about this question a bit and now that I have, I do think it is selfish. But I still don’t think that the person doing it is thinking about how it will affect others. They’re caught up in the misery and can’t see anything else. So it is, in my mind, selfish but not intentionally so.
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There it is… 
That is exactly it. It doesn’t get rid of the pain…
Says it all in a simple message. Thank you for that.
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it is so sad 
don’t do it, just please don’t do it 
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Thank you for all the replies guys. I think everyone here makes a good point. My heart goes out to those here who have lost someone to this.