I used to have a lot of gripes about my parents, but having been stable for a while, they seem to be getting less.
Just wondering what the reason is?
I think in the early days off illness I kinda blamed my parents etc but really donāt give a ā ā ā ā now. They have good times and bad times but overall they are good people.
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I think the reason I got so messed upā¦
My Dad is Spock and my Mom is Mary Poppins. My whole life I havenāt been sure if I should open my own Accounting business, or write a song and dance musical.
I do not want to go to the past, it is better in that way, but I have some childhood traumas as scars in my finger remind me every day, better not to go the past, it is happier in that way. Everything is forgiven.
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ssā¦mental illness starts from childhoodā¦
as my situation is concernedā¦it (M.I) illness started from very young ageā¦
i was nurtured in very worse family circumstancesā¦it waas start of my dark lifeā¦
no love care and affectionā¦always hatred bad words .no supports emotionally turned out.
now i am sz have szaffā¦
it started form mild depression to phobia anxiety and sz uncurableā¦
if i have got chance to see doc @ earlier phase of my suffering i would have got curedā¦
leave those painful moment
trying to live in peaceā¦
take careā¦
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Well, thereās complaining that things werenāt perfect, and then thereās grappling with the actual damage that is done by chronic neglect/abuse, and trauma. Things werenāt perfect for me, and thatās something to look at and talk about and gain peace about. And then there was the abuse and neglect that genuinely scars the psyche. I will live with and deal with who that made me for the rest of my life. It doesnāt have to be with bitterness, etc. but it canāt really be ignored. I think I am at the point where I definitely forgive my parents for their failings. They really did just do what they could. I think getting over the victim mentality is crucial to healing. Letting go of hurt feelings and just no longer feeling the sting of it is part of recovery, but knowing Iām scarred in some ways is just understanding the truth.
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I donāt hold resentment for anyone. Not my bullies at school and not my parents. But it had a huge part of play in my illness
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During the 70ās it was ānormalā to find your parents and family ādysfunctionalā and to gripe about them. It was the era of self-help books.
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I romanticized my childhood for a long time. Now I know Iāve blocked a lot of bad things about my dad out, and thereās a reason why I developed depression and my fearfulness that eventually caused me to get PTSD from my psychosis. So I guess I was the opposite since I always looked back on my childhood as the pinnacle of my life, since it was before all my bad mental health issues started.
People with mental health problems often had parent(s) with mental health problems. Makes for quite the childhood when your whole family has issues, oh and some peopleās issues are acknowledged while othersā are not.
My parents were in a battle for domination which wasnāt surprising given their respective backgrounds. I was the proverbial dog to kick, I guess they were not so much bad as very flawed. There wasnāt much emotional closeness.
I certainly donāt think it helped especially as they were too obsessed with arguing to notice things they should have done. The worst effect of childhood was the bullying though.
Since my dad has been married to his second wife,a democrat voting liberal jew, he has mellowed a lot and toned down his previous conservatism. Occasionally thereās even signs of concern.
My mother always saw me as the awkward, baby/toddler/child etc. A compliment was usually followed by two negatives. It didnāt help that she was a problem drinker/alcoholic.
It affected her parenting skills.
I may be the odd one out. I really donāt have any gripes about my childhood. My parents divorced when I was very young, too young to realise, but Mum met my stepdad when she started working and he is awesome so I never knew any different. Iāve had a very lucky life.
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Iām happy for you, @anon84763962. Iām in the āgripeā category myself, but I love hearing about stories like yours.
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I think I have a version of āChild Starā syndromeā¦
I was the best in class athlete growing up among my peers. And I was like The Fonz in middle school. All of the gals would swoon over me.
Then High School came and it all went south. I was a little fish in a big pond, and my life has never really recovered since.
The psychiatrists taught us to gripe. And then the psychologists started complaining because we whine. And now they want to put us into the football game without helmets. Or train our minds to be other than they are.
Personally I am going through councelling I was abused verbally physically and emotionally as a child so I have some issues . I will not be dwelling in my last forever I am finding out why I am the way I am and it is helping.
I decided after Iāve finished ongoing counclling I will burn my old diqries from the past in ceremony in my back garden to signify letting go of the past.
My councllor said however she meets pole in their 60 s
Still affected by it.
We are told oh forgive and forget but If you havenāt processed it itās playing q game of nothing ever happened.
When people are abused as children the brqin actually changes.
We are not meant to be unsafe in our homes.
It makes you anxious hypervigilant.
And for me it has meant I can be quite aggressive when Iām not thinking rationally.
If you were abused as a child or q child of an alcoholic it will affect you no doubt about that.