It sounds like your grandma isn’t going to change. Do your best to get her to understand that what she is saying is wrong, but if you can’t convince her of that just ignore her. Don’t continue a conversation if she is using that kind of language. It might not change her, but it might make you feel better. As for the music, listen to what you like, but don’t get defensive or offensive if other people listen to something different. That’s what headphones are for.
I don’t think it’s an excuse in terms of “oh she is too old to understand new ideas.” I think it is more like “She is at an age where she doesn’t care what you think and if you keep criticizing her it will only lead to a fight so just walk away if you get annoyed or ignore it if you don’t because she will refuse to change.”
With my relatives who are like that, I just tell them “I’m gonna walk away if you keep talking like that” and then follow through if they don’t stop. If I can’t leave I just say “I’m gonna cover my ears and shout to tune you out if you keep talking like that” and I also follow through with that.
I think that especially women who grew up in a time when they were expected to shut up and agree and be polite all the time, they are now at a time when they are like “eff that I’m going to be as rude as I want and people can just live with it”
And because so many older women are only just now feeling free to express themselves, they are overcompensating and swinging too far in the other direction towards “I just tell it like it is” mentality.
I’m sorry about your grandma. I don’t think older age is any excuse. Everyone should just be loving off all kinds of people, whether race, gender identity, sexuality, etc.
You might end up kinda like your grandma, but nobody can see the future. You don’t have to agree with the way things are going, but you can disagree while still being loving. Does that make sense?
I’m not saying it’s OK to be a bigot, just be open-minded. You might feel strongly a certain way, for a long time, but then something will happen where you suddenly see things differently.
For example, my grandma used to be racist. But then my cousin (from a black father and a white mother) was born and my grandma was just so happy to have this adorable biracial grandson.
I went to law school and dropped out too. I was on scholarship. But I had problems at home so it was all too much to deal with. No my brain is so incapable I couldn’t learn law or anything even remotely difficult if my life depended on it
I’ve accepted long ago that people like my grandparents are stubborn as heck and that it’s a waste of energy to try to bring them into the current fold.
People are just people and many people are out of your control so try not to let it get to you.
my grandpa was a racist, bigoted man. I used to argue with him all the time about black people being equal growng up…he was staunch in his stand on racism…he passed away in about 2006. I still love him, he just didn’t understand.