when i was psychotic, or thought I was psychotic, I thought things I saw changed color, not from red to green, but from a dull red to a bright red.
BUT, now that I had my ptosis last week, i saw that one eye saw red more vividly than the other eye. I was sane, no psychosis, but my eyes were significantly impacted.
when I looked like this, color in one I was definately more vivid than the other, and one eye, I believe it was the right eye, didn’t see the color red.
and the muscle weakness in the eyes changes, and so does my vision from day to day. when i’m tired, the double vision is more pronounced. Like I’m crazier when I’m more tired I guess.
what do you think? do you see different colors when you think you’re psychosis is active?
I added another photo, that one is on the med they gave me THAT WORKS!!! Mestinon. but the committed me as Sz. for some reason, I think my experience, even tho very similar to everyone else, must be quite different. Yet, they still called it Sz
and it does make me mad, as the colors are different, psychosis or not!
I did see an entire room turn red once, my friend was sternly barking at me to “wake up! just wake up!” and when he said it the entire room turned red, the consciousness that was there with me made it turn red in response to his words.
I actually thought for a moment “did i just wake up or something?”
So, after being tortured for a bit, even in my dreams they were in there with me, i was run out and i headed south.
Happened upon a pyramid out there in the nowhere and i was made to go up to the top where i was being convinced to sit there and die of starvation and thirst, it was confusing because it was inside of me, it wasn’t me but it was being said in me.
So after not being able to kill myself on top of a pyramid i continued south, where i saw an ancient mythological greek god.
It isn’t a build up of acetyholine or whatever that stuff is you were talking about.
I internally “see” spatial representations of patterns I have discerned that can be accompanied by pleasant or unpleasant odours, depending on how the data skews. These representations can be from information I have seen or heard. The technical term for this condition is “synesthesia”, making me a “synesthete”. It doesn’t appear in the DSM as it is not an illness, and those who have it find it enhances their lives rather than detracting from them. The condition may be related to my mild autism, which I have in addition the my SZ diagnosis.
I’m not going to argue that I wasn’t over the edge, but … I could see what was going on during my ‘psychosis’ , seemed like my brain kept giving me wrong information, or telling me to go the wrong direction, etc. I could see everyone’s face for example, I could also see them lie about what was going on, which made me incredibly mad at the time, and I still am angry at many people. that’s ok, anger is natural.
I think some hallucinations are like those pictures that were popular in the 70’s that if you stared long enough at them and let your eyes relax, a different 3-D picture “popped” out.
