lol Sorry. What’s it mean when you post numbers after your comment? I’ve seen other people do it.
We put down numbers when our answer is so short that this site won’t publish our post. A post has to be at least 15 letters long to be posted. That’s why we use 15’s.
This nurse is saying a lot of weird things to you. She is probably inexperienced with schizophrenia. When I was first in the hospital, I was told I must not actually have schizophrenia because I recognize that my hallucinations aren’t real. That was just some ignorant nurse trying to make comments about things he wasn’t qualified to talk about.
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@Ninjastar To be fair to her, she did say she was an ER nurse and not a psych nurse. That hospital only has psych nurses during the day.
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I remember everything from my episodes as well as anything else. And I am also left wondering if there is a spiritual explanation for it or what. I don’t know. But it is a shame how underinformed medical staff can be. On my first episode I was diagnosed with many wrong diagnoses and also told I was not schizophrenic because I was logical and aware of what was going on. It’s upsetting because it could have saved me a lot of pain to know earlier what my diagnosis was, and that I was not some strange mystery case.
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Agreed. I thought I was totally alone until I stumbled across this place.
I can’t even remember my own birthday or how to shower.
But seriously, yeah, I can remember them objectively. I can remember times and places and events that happened when I was psychotic. I spent a year in a group home with no medication when I first got diagnosed. I was psychotic almost the whole time. That was about 35 years ago but I still remember much of went on and I can remember how sick I was.
i hear different voices all the time, making it impossible for me to name them 
but i did name my hallucinations though 
I remember all of mine. I get out of control when i have psychotic depression though. Normally psychosis ill be ok most times
when i get psychotic, the walls start talking to me, telling me that a man is coming to get me. i see him in my yard, my room, everywhere i go. it’s been so bad that i’ve attacked my friend once, because i thought he was part of the plot. everything gets turned into one big chaos.
- unfortunately, i remember everything.
I would say, based on your feedback here, that it’s ‘normal’ to remember psychotic episodes. I also remember my 3 episodes. I still have a residual delusion and ,even though I call it a delusion and accept that it is a delusion, it is still real to me. Knowing that you have hallucinations or delusions doesn’t make you any less SZ. My first episode was when I ‘realized’ my delusion that I am in a brain study and being watched and monitored constantly. I did some pretty ‘crazy’ things that day. I wasn’t in control of myself. I remember it very well.
Like others, I remember them all. I also remember the poor treatment by Police and paramedics who clearly didn’t understand what was happening for me at all. Being handcuffed and dragged across my front lawn was demeaning and totally not necessary. 
I remember them vividly. In fact maybe a bit too much. Kinda like traumatic thinking about the whole first episode.
My psychotic episodes were extremely terrifying and traumatic. I remember a lot of the details and it still boggles my mind what I went through.
I only remember one psychotic episode in my life. It was alarming to me.
I think it was early in 2010. I lived in a very large group home. Maybe I had 15 housemates living there with me. I was doing well on Risperdal and Lithium. The pdoc I was with then decided to take me off Risperdal since I was doing so well, and also, Risperdal increased my prolactin levels, which caused serious issues for me. She raised my Lithium I think from 1200 to 1500. When I got completely off the Risperdal I stopped sleeping. I started hearing voices in the wee hours of the night. I could hear the other residents’ voices and thought they were talking about me all the time. I heard song lyrics, read books, watched the TV, saw ads, etc., and thought they were all targeted at me. I said some weird things to my roommate, I don’t remember what. I thought my roommate was standing over me in bed as I was delirious or something. She said lack of sleep could cause mania, I remember that. Also, I wasn’t eating because I lacked an appetite. I lost quite a few pounds of weight, and someone told me my hair looked “wild.” I saw friends and people I respected before and thought that they weren’t really them, just imposters masquerading as them. This dragged on for several weeks. Eventually I was taken to get checked out at the medical ER, not the psychiatric one, because my pdoc thought my behavior was due to a Lithium toxicity. When I was on one of the examination beds in my patient scrubs waiting for the doctor to check me out, I heard the voice of my imaginary friend ******** and freaked out. The orderlies had to hold me down and inject me with a needle while I screamed out that I understood now!!! [My Imaginary Friend]'s ****** reminded me of porn and sex!!! I later woke up in very tight restraints and was transferred within a few hours to the psychiatric hospital, where I think I stayed for about two weeks. But even when I was released, the aforementioned symptoms did not go away. I was so scared that I went to another doc who gave me Prolixin, and then I was back to normal in less than a week. I hope I never get like that again.