Is your bf staying with you?
He’s coming in a week or two. For now, it’s just me and my dad and brother.
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This isn’t coming from my brain, it’s something a group therapist guy said. And that’s just that a lot (or for some always) the things we want really badly we build them up in our head so much that we create a sort of giant ever growing snowball that distorts our beliefs.
To add, from personal experience once you take the first step, that snowball starts melting away real fast. Not to say there aren’t set backs, some people just suck and make us feel bad, even if they are a stranger. But the bright side is that if you’re a kind person to others, you’ll usually get good results and it all gets easier.
Sorry! Long post, I’ll wrap up just by saying I’ve been there and it’s hard, best of luck thought
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CompSci? That’s awesome, I’m very happy for you. I suck at coding beyond basic (really basic) web dev. But I hear it’s a great intellectual and creative outlet, not to mention an excellent practice in problem solving. Sorry, rambling, but that’s cool, sounds like a great plan, goodluck!
Ha I suck at the moment too. But being bad at something is the first step to being good at something. Yeah wish me luck 
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I do enjoy my own company and I have one irl friend though I don’t see her often. I know that generally I’m a likable person but past experiences tell me to be careful with people so connections are difficult for me to form.
But therapy thus far is helping. 
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I do sometimes long for some sort of connection with other people, but my trust has been so badly affected by other people I struggle to let anyone close to me.
I also cannot initiate conversations very well so the other person has to put in the effort as I am not able to, Really frustrates me.
But it has been five years now - I am just lucky my family have stuck by me.
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Yeah sure I guess that’s why I can be a grumpy ■■■■■■■ sometimes.
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I feel so lonely and have most of my life.
I have isolated a lot.
I have to isolate to heal and cope.
If I don’t I can’t deal with it I think
Just staring in the ceiling can help .
Just helping myself through it so I do not need hospitalisation.
I feel someone else and do not feel like myself.
I feel attacked by people with invisible weapons and or hostile energies and disrespect etc
When I tried working I could not.
I lived by myself for years just my neigh and I and I had paranoia about most people we agisted of.
I was at home every weekend and going to bed 7 pm and sleeping to about 8am.
I had symptoms and my family was my enemies I thought in a way.
I have my boyfriend but I do not fit in with his friends and family and feel they have been bad behaved to me and abusive even.
He has friends and family come here almost daily and they did not knock on the door but barged in.
I was sad my man allowed their attacks on me.
I miss my family I used to be paranoid of them too.
I think they are trying to break me up from my boyfriend.
They want to put me in a home for disabled people to separate me from him.
Anders my x i apolagise but I was a mess.
I can not stand dinners it can be a better or worse but I can go mute and hysterical and feel a man in my body and attacked by those at table.
I usually suffer socialising.
I have no friends to hang out with.
My holy neigh n my boyfriend.
My family is far away.
He has it all here.
I do not think I can endure…
But our cuddles are with so much heart and we are nice to each other usually.
His friends n family though…
I hope I get a case worker or carer if they can help.
My sacred neigh .
I miss her and love her and miss riding.
I feel very left out because I do not fit in anywhere .
I do not belong to any group it seems .
I did not feel loved .
I am sad today.
I thought about going vegan again but it is expensive and I was anaemic despite that I was seeing a dietitian.
My boyfriend said he would break up with me if I go vegan.
Also I fear of going psychotic if I go vegan and I am not coping so well now despite having a simple diet of usually eating the same as my boyfriend.
I miss my family .
I do not have relationships so much .
I do not know where to go or what to do.
I remember sobbing why does no one love me as a child so hard I could not breath that time.
I tried so hard but could not…
Aged care worker but someone else in my body hysterical intense n horrid n I can not stand feeling it…
I was not feeling like myself.
I sincerely wanted to be aged care worker but I truly can not.
I feel it would do me good to just rest a lot now.
My boyfriend went to bbq but I said no thank you.
Not up for it and because I usually suffer at such things I will try to stop going.
It’s good to have someone and where to go or call to etc
Anders took care of me and held my hand and I was so bad and not myself.
My boyfriend has been great to n for me in many ways but he does not understand maybe and his friends and family he dis fends has done no wrong…
Being active can be good but days of rest in my bed helped me a to cope .
So lonely but it is better than being with people that are bad to and for you and who attack etc
My former step mum who also raised me and who gave me a place to live when I did not have sounded hateful on the phone.
She sounded like she hates me.
Maybe she is jealous .
I thought we were close and had telepathy.
I do not fit in to my family either.
My father always complained about me and everything he ever wanted in a daughter my sister is.
So perfect .
Raised in stability same home , friends,always someone to turn to, huge social net work , married her first and only boyfriend,long legs and blonde ,University educated with a uni costing over thirty grand…
She is everything he told me he wants in a daughter
I am more like my dad I have been told not physically but as a person we both cried watching cartoons …
My mum thinks he does not love himself .
I might Have nowhere to go.
I want home.
My boyfriend and I have a loving peaceful home but it is not stable and there are lots of visitors.
Someone is inciting hate on me and always has been.
I was bullied for being ugly etc
I can be very ugly.
Will try to improve inside and out.
Will try to have things to look forward to and be and do good.
I can not remember my former stepmom having such a hateful tone in her voice .
I think I need help.
I don’t completely isolate. I don’t get out hardly at all because of my physical illness. But also, I am an introvert so only need sprurts of time being with others. When people come over and i feel well i really enjoy it. I, also, will spend time online to get my socializing out. Yet i can appreciate alone time, hobbies, reflecting and such.
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I need people but I don’t trust them. I need socialization I think because being alone often leads to me ruminating on things like the battle and the society and the agents, but people always seem like they’re mad at me or don’t like me, and have some ulterior motive for talking to me.
I really want to be alone and people almost always oblige me. I agree that most people suck.
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