I’ve been diagnosed sza a few years ago but have been heavily doubtful this diagnosis is accurate since then. Could anyone maybe describe what they struggle with on a daily basis so I could see if I can relate? I know everyone experience different things to a degree, I just want to see how many symptoms I have in common
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Hi there, @anon82230070! I have sza too, and I sometimes doubt my diagnosis. There are several people on the site that doubt; we’ve even had a thread about it. 
I have a lot of schizophrenia symptoms: delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations. I have OCD and anxiety. I struggle to find the motivation to do anything, and sometimes, I can’t find it in me to shower. I am often scared to leave my room or house. I sleep with a light on.
Then there are the bipolar symptoms. Sometimes, I swing back and forth between mania and depression. When I am dealing with mania, I can’t stop thinking, can’t sleep, can’t stop going. During depression, I feel guilty and unwanted. I want to self harm, and sometimes, I feel suicidal. I try to get a hold of my pdoc or husband right away so I can get help and not do something stupid.
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You doubt if you have sza or also you doubt the diagnosis of an illness in psychosis spectrum?
Some patients who are ill lack the ability to understand that they are ill. It’s called anosognosia. It’s a greek word and means the lack of knowledge that you are ill.
I have heard stories of people who despite they take their medications they have doubts that they have schizophrenia for example.
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Idk what it is, I did have a paranoid episode several months ago so I think it’s a psychotic disorder. Only thing is I’ve only experienced an elevated mood during the episode and at most it lasted an hour. I also don’t really struggle with motivation anymore. I’ve gone 3 months without meds and had no problems. So idk lol
Elevated mood in some situations is a sign of mania which is a symptom of bipolar disorder.
Paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, lack of motivation etc are signs of schizophrenia.
When you have a combination of these two disorders (bipolar-schizophrenia) they label you as schizoaffective.
If you were at treatment with drugs and stopped them because you felt well again take a call to your doctor.
You have 80% chances for a relapse and maybe will be worse.
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I’ve only experienced these symptoms very briefly though. I appreciate the caution, but I’ve been off meds for months at a time with no issues. Because I’m in school and still not completely sure about what I’m capable of, I now take 2 mg of abilify per day, and that’s all I need. I’ve didnt hear voices either during my episode, I kinda think it’s possible I have delusional disorder
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Some times it starts with mild symptoms and then it gets worse with relapses.
Be careful with your medicines. I made many mistakes with discontinuation of them and had a relapse of full blown psychosis in 2012.
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Thank you! This was helpful
I have sza depressive type.
On the sz side of things, I experience auditory, visual and tactile hallucinations. These are greatly limited by the 30 mg of Haldol I take, but I still get breakthrough experiences once or twice a month. I have constant paranoia about various things - that I’m being watched and recorded, that someone wants to kidnap my cat, that there is a sniper outside my house, that someone wants to kidnap/hurt/rape me. Also have delusions about various things, but that’s too heavy to go into detail here.
On the depression side of things, I have my depression controlled by a low dose AD (Lexapro 10 mg). When I’m not medicated, some of my symptoms used to be sleeping all the time (though I do that now in response to all the Haldol I take), feeling worthless, wanting to die, self harm, and an overall feeling that I was just plain decreased in functioning.
There’s cognitive parts to it as well, like I have fuzzy thinking and lack of concentration. I can no longer do any kind of puzzle, whether it’s a word puzzle, crossword, or jigsaw puzzle. My brain just can’t compute it anymore after my psychotic breaks. My ability to problem solve is also limited.
I’m sure there’s more, but those are the biggest things. I hope it helps!
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Hello @anon82230070. I am (I think anyway), the only sza person on this site who doesn’t doubt his/her diagnosis. I have been diagnosed sza for the last 24 years. I also have a diagnosis of sz, residual type but I believe sza is the correct one. It is extremely common for a sza person to doubt his/her diagnosis. In fact it is one of the symptoms of sza to doubt your diagnosis. That said, I have no bothersome symptoms today due to being on a great medication regimen and having wonderful coping skills of my own making.
When I was very ill with sza, only as recently as two years ago, I was very paranoid with telepathic symptoms. I felt I could read people’s minds and they could read my mind. This caused me untold torture. And I was like this for 33 years. I also felt like the whole world hated my guts. And for the life of me, I didn’t know why people hated me. I thought I was a pretty cool person. I had hallucinations in all sensory spheres. I had paranoid delusions of the government putting poisons in the medications they give me. (I’m still not completely over that one). I was always paranoid of serial killers getting into my house. I thought all men were secretly gay. (I get a laugh out of that one today.) I thought my ex husband sent out a sniper to kill me and our son. It goes on and on. When I was in my 30’s, (I’m 58 today), I was extremely depressed and suicidal. I was in and out of institutions every two weeks like a revolving door. Literally. Always for suicidal ideations. I’m sure I’ve been manic a few times although I don’t recall it. I have no insight into my manic episodes. I feel totally normal when I’m manic. I have to rely on what other people tell me.
Gina L.
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Up until just a few years ago, I had auditory hallucinations all the time. Now I have them still fairly often. I think I have less motivation and ability to handle stress. The bipolar stuff mostly isn’t so bad. Mostly I get kind of…not really even bad enough to be depression. If I don’t sleep sometimes I get a mild high. Sometimes I talk fast and my speech isn’t always completely clear. When I’m experiencing a high often my hallucinations are greatly reduced.
However…if I take certain meds that effect mood…like the AD Remeron, or Acitetin for Psoriasis, things can get bad. Especially if I’m also sick. I can start to look more like someone who legit has bipolar.
The strange thing is my depression doesn’t seem to have a lot of the classic symptoms. Maybe its more of a mixed state or something. I get so I feel very sad, and hopeless, but I desperately feel that talking to others will help and make me feel better. When I can, I do.
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Thanks everyone! It seems my symptoms are somewhat similar but much more mild, does anyone experience something like a mild sza?
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I have sza but it is under control with my meds and so i don’t have much symptoms now
when i am ill I get the following symptoms:
severe depression
self harm urges
voices/intrusive thoughts
hypomania or mixed episode (excited and depressed at same time)
insomnia
anxiety
paranoia
delusions
no motivation to do anything
can’t look after myself
I agree that symptoms can get worse. Mine started as a mood problem then progressed to hallucinations. Later, I developed some nasty paranoia, and my hallucinations worsened. Even though I sometimes think “Hmmm… maybe I don’t have this after all,” I don’t stop any meds without talking to my doctor first. I guess it’s no surprise that I doubt it, though. When I am having a good day, I doubt ALL of my health problems.
I’d stay on them atleast to some extent. I’m not medicated and haven’t been for a year and although I’m kinda okay, I feel like I might be doing better on meds. I’ve gotten to a point where voices and delusions are low and infrequent through lifestyle changes but I feel meds are like a brace or cast (like when you break your arm) that keeps your brain safe from becoming injured again. Scz is a very severe mental illness and so most people need to be medicated for a lifetime. There is nothing wrong with this. Some people need to have a wheel chair and some need meds; we still go on to do remarkable things (Steven Hawkins, John Nash, and terry fox are some examples)
I may be a hypocrite to say this but I’ve learned from experience of not being on meds that it probably would have been better if I stayed on meds. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I’ve injured my mind greatly by not doing so sooner.
3 months is not that long (heck they can take a month to even start working). Your mania symptoms it seems to me might actually be what’s, atleast to some extent, tempting you to come off of them. You want to be free, I get it! But freedom comes from doing what’s right and what’s right is to take care of your health out of Love and respect for yourself and future.
You don’t have to go on 1000mg per day but atleast take something, at the very least. The worse thing you can do is rip off your cast before it’s healed, cause if you bump it accidentally and it breaks again, it might not heal up the same way again.
It kinda sucks to have a cast but it’s better than having a permanently broken arm.
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