I had this problem of don’t want to greet people,even if make eye contact,it makes me look rude and proud…I am trying to be a humble person but I just too scared to greet people in a normal tone,I always had a low monotonous tone when greeting,gosh is this anxiety?
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Is there a way that you can play it off as lovably eccentric? I’m not sure I have the “loveable” part down, but I have “eccentric” down pat. I think people usually see eccentric as harmless (think about the old scientist from back to the future).
The best way, I think, to pull off a greeting if you are nervous is a complement. Find something that person is proud of, that is unique (preferably something you actually like) and go with that. “Oh, excuse me, every day you have the most wonderful ______. Where do you get them?” is a good one. I don’t know what men do. I gave the female because it’s the one I know and I can’t tell from your picture or name which gender you are.
If you are a girl, I would be happy to go on (if you want). But if you are a guy, good luck. That gender seems to follow completely different rules that make absolutely no sense to me.
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I have been working hard to hold doors open for people and if I do happen to catch some eye contact, I try to remember a small hello.
People I know well like my two friends and family I’ll sometimes forget to greet. I’ve been told I walk up and just start talking to them. Some people who I sort of know through my sister, I’ll keep my nose in a book if I’m not up for interacting.
Sometimes my sis will greet people and I just forget to. It’s not that I’m trying to be snotty. I have a very bad memory and sometimes I really can’t muster the energy. So if they say hi to me and keep talking I feel a bit bad.
There have been people who have come up, talked me to for 15 minutes, handed me something that they are returning to my kid sis and they leave… and I have NO idea who they were.
In a room full of people especially, as in a family gathering, I don’t like to go up to someone and hug them or shake their hand hello. I feel awkward. Yesterday I was at my brothers house and there were other people over, like my other aunt, my cousin, her husband - i felt awkward, shy, reserved. I did manage to socialize a bit though. Saying good bye is tough for me too, especially when I am not familiar with them
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Maybe just walk up and start talking? Not starting at the middle of a conversation or anything, but most people seem ok with no greeting after you jump that initial hurtle the first time.
If you are going somewhere you know certain people will be, try this trick that an insurance agent my Dad used did.
He got a picture of the people (probably from their file, this might be tricky but a written description could work as well) and he put that picture in a file with their name on it. He kept those files in a handy drawer and wrote down all the key personal information he knew about them right after the visit (wife’s name, birthday, what sport the liked, their job, the kids, ect.) and whenever someone came to see him, his secretary would call into his office. He would tell her to wait a minute, he would pull out the client’s file, review it, and then tell her to send them in. He refreshed his memory on them and it made people happy. Even my Dad, who was on to him, said it still made him feel good.
I tend to slip out and quietly drive away. I’m really bad about that.
@Wave It’s good that you and your brother and the family are reconnecting. Congratulations on sticking around and talking. I’m glad your brother is getting his own head together enough that you two can rebuild the friendship.
With family gatherings, I’m the errand runner…
Need more ice from the store? I’ll go get it.
Forgot the special soy milk for our cousin’s wife? I’ll go get it.
Forgot Charcoal for the grill? I’ll go get it.
I can hang for 10 minutes, leave for a bit, hang for 10 minutes, leave for a bit. It helps me. Of course I’m exhausted by the end, but I got to see people and still keep myself together.
just a nod in there direction i say alright? works for me to be honest other people arent a massive fan eye contact either.
A good way to get over the anxiety of greeting people is to go shopping. Sales people all usually undergo some type of customer greeting training, so it’s mandatory for them to say hello back. They are usually extroverts who will happily talk about themselves if you feel like you don’t have anything to say. Plus you have the topic of whatever the store sells to go on.
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Greeting people is just a form of politeness. Easy to do.
when you spot someone you know, wait until you make eye contact (keep it brief-just so they know you are talking to them), nod your head and say loud enough for them to hear “hello”, smile, wait for the return “hello.”
then keep walking!
No one says you have to actually talk to them. You don’t even have to know their name-they probably don’t even remember your name either, and are just as self conscious and embarrassed.
It’s really a matter of acknowledging them that is important, rather than holding a conversation, because no one likes to get snubbed.
“How do you do?” and “Hello” went out a long time ago. They were replaced by “Hi”. That really worked for awhile because during the Vietnam War, all anybody wanted to lift our depression was to get high. Now, we can’t trust people who are high anymore, it doesn’t last. The latest is "Hey there, -name- "if you know their name. Because it has sort of a startled quality about it that is energizing.
To the few people i know and see i say ‘hello or good morning/afternoon’ but seldom engage in conversation.
you get use to it after a while ‘well i did anyway’ i think if you can be friendly and it shows then thats half the battle,
today i greeted lots of people at my church and i was introduced to a person and i said hi and i said ‘i have to go as i’m going to get flowers for my mum’ and they said ‘oh he is such a nice boy’ haha then i said ‘from the park’ and they all got my joke and started laughing it was so funny, (i did get her flowers though as it was mothers day here in the uk)
i dont think i have met a more friendlier bunch of people than i have there, and they all make me feel welcome, greet you at the door and then you start to greet people yourself, and just get talking to people, it can take time tho and if your head is not in the right place i wouldnt advise it.
I don’t like shaking hands.
i have a problem greeting people, talking to people, saying goodbye to people…
i like animals they like a pat, that’s it.
take care
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