Do you ever feel like you are poison?

I feel like I am toxic in some situations. Are there any situations where you feel like you are toxic?

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Sometimes I delude that I am spreading some illness.

Relationship-wise, I feel bad that my friends have to deal with me sometimes and have lost friends after episodes of sorts. Luckily, my very close friends understand and are very helpful. I hope I’m not toxic to them.

P.S. I re-read this and realized that you might not be asking literally. I take things literally sometimes at first…

I feel like I’ve been poisoned.

As for the spreading illness part, I have sucked people into my delusions before and feel guilty about that. I don’t want to wind up as some evil cult leader.

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I don’t want to drag anybody down, I have to make an effort not too.

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Does that Even Exist (???) ,

e(Y)e am Aware of Mephistopheles … ,

but a Cult (?) ,

e(Y)e Would L.O.V.E. to Read About Some “evil” Cultishness … ,

(as long as animals and such isn’t being sacrificed) … … …

i’m a bleep-hole. i’m well aware of this. i meet toxic people. i think they mistake my disdain for my fellow human being for aloofness or my desire to get to know them as anything other than passing the time. You know, the “never too much honesty” crowd.

“I really love ■■■■■■■ you and you’re a good conversationalist, but I just can’t shake the sense that you’re somehow beneath me despite respecting you.”

“I feel that you’re beneath me too.”

“Would you like me to get the all-good cat?”

I’m pretty tolerant of other people’s foibles, but one thing I really hate is people who don’t have the right to know me from Adam being intensely judgemental about me. I want to shout at them, “Get the ■■■■ out of my life!”

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Yeah I’ve done some pretty horrible things both while psychotic and stable. Stable is where things get bad because things just slowly change into toxic situations and that have no way out. While being psychotic, pretty much anything I do is a warning sign for people to gtfo like there’s a bomb.

I’ve left a trail of bad and broken relationships behind me. I’ve got a bit of ‘learned helplessness’ when it comes to managing relationships now.

Boy do I ever have that, especially when it comes to relationships.

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I think I frequently get that thing going on when I try too hard to be a good person, and then it makes me into a really toxic person when people don’t return the kindness and I am become bitter as all hell. Gives me the impression that it’s better to be mildly toxic, than fake nice which inevitably results in being super toxic. Or something.

Assertive would probably be best, still working on that.

I used to think I was like Rogue from X-Men, now I like to identify with Jean Grey :smile: I’m a child inside I know, jugde away

I used to believe that I affected people close to me and brought ruin to them. I still struggle with that. I worried about getting married, but so far my husband’s ok. I think partly I lack the ability to help and advise people to the extent I’d like and so when they naturally go through tough times I take personal responsibility if I’m not able to help them more.

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calm down. please. i wasn’t talking about you. i’m well aware i don’t know you.

@ChestRockwell you make me feel toxic for stalking my ex wife with your exposing pictures of you in neglige’ I wish you would leave this site and never come back…

There are times I feel very toxic… when I look back on life and think about the type of person I was… the things I did to my family… the things I did to my friends… the drugs… the stupid antics… the resistance to meds or ANY sort of help… it makes me feel like I poisoned them.

But turning that around is part of the healing process. Forgiving myself… and working on not being the man I was before…

chief, she never told me to stop sending that stuff. i swear that i honestly think she likes the attention you give her when she tells you about it. and she probably likes the attention she got from me by getting the pictures. i’ll tell you what. i’ll write her a nice apology with a promise never to send lascivious pictures ever again. if i were you, i wouldn’t bring it up with her till she mentions it and pay attention to her reaction because you’re either making something out of nothing – meaning it doesn’t bother her – or she’s trying to provoke an emotional reaction from you.

I do that too. I am usually very circumspect around people, and I start to expect them to be just as circumspect with me. It ruins the chance for a good relationship.

I think it also increases the chances that people will treat you like crap. Has always happened to me in the work place. I am too passive and try to be too helpful, and people see that as a free-for-all sign. Then I wind up hating all of them. So that is one sort of situation where just being assertive would be better.

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@ChestRockwell listen, bub…ofcourse she didn’t tell you she didn’t want to see the pictures…you idiot…you’re a real twisted little dude…and I hope you leave this site…