I am often feeling disregarded by people in life and it seems it’s because Im poison to their psyche. I try to be kind and loving but most don’t seem to want to be bothered . Its like hell is the only pursuit of most
I can’t believe it. Our mind is our biggest enemy. ( I find myself worthless too. If someone stops calling me or start acting different I immediately think that it is my fault…)
Stop torturing yourself. You are equally unique and worthy as every human being out there!
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I am an ordeal to some people. I don’t blame them for not wanting to be near me. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is.
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this is one of the unfortunate truths with having sz. we have the best intentions, we mean well, but some people would rather you ■■■■ on them than show an ounce of kindness and generosity towards them. I meet maybe 50 people every time I work and with some, you have to brandish your wit and attitude. it is tough with a dz like sz, we ourselves are rather fragile and getting that negative vibe sends us out of kilter. I would say just ignore the those that disregard you, they aren’t people you want to associate with anyways. there is a fine line between being snarky and being hellacious, a lot of people walk that fine line… I compare it to drinking alcohol; we all love a good buzz, but have a few too many usually spells some sort of trouble.
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i appreciate all your views on this 
thank you! each have good meaning to me
“you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time” is what I’ve always heard. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
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Mmm, for me it’s the other way around. I’m not really in a mood to explain this in depth either right now.
Modified quote from a video game, “They fill their chalice with poison and savor it like wine!”
So true. My mind really is my own worst enemy
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i hope you are feeling better 
take care 
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Ty i am
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Suggested:
Work with that p-doc to develop a medication formula that stabilizes your symptoms sufficiently so that you can tackle the psychotherapy that will disentangle your thinking. The best of the therapies for that currently include…
DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html
the even newer somatic psychotherapies like…
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy
or standard CBTs, like…
REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
Standard CBT – http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/About-CBT/252/
I am stable on the one I take for for nearly twenty years and I may be able to decrease it in time.