When I was hospitalized last they said I had borderline personality disorder and narcissism and refused to prescribe anything in there defense I was heavily self medicating and told them what I knew they needed to hear to let me out
Unfortunately the psychiatrists I’ve been to so far were unable to determine much of anything my parents weren’t fans of hospitals, doctors, or medicine either so my medical history is spotty
I wish I could make it without meds. Some people here claim to but I don’t see how.
I used to be a pilot so taking meds ended my career. I spent the first 5 years or so trying to come off of meds but my doctor wouldn’t take me off. I actually got down to only 20 mg of Geodon once a day. That’s the lowest dose you can take. He still wouldn’t let me quit so I quit. I made it 5 days and was in the hospital.
Started hallucinating seeing and hearing things and I had never done that before. I got diagnosed with just delusions, paranoia and negative symptoms. But when I quit my meds I started hallucinating. The disease gets worse with time.
Now I take 80 mg of Geodon twice a day, 40 mg of Latuda and 300 mg of Wellbutrin. I also take anxiety meds and sleeping pills. So 5 prescriptions now. The FAA wouldn’t let me fly for hire on any of them. I would like to quit them all.
I envy you. But I wouldn’t be claiming to be schizophrenic. My stance would be I am cured and now I want to be an airline pilot.
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I think it sounds like sz. But try telling the pdocs (psychiatrists) what you told us. I too have done acting and have been able to act normal at times when I was psychotic. Being honest with them is best.
Keep a journal of how you are feeling and what you are experiencing. I think you are concerned if you have it at this point. so look into it. But you sound well and you are compensating and handling it so far. It is borderline I think. You sound well but most of the people here sound well and like the are handling sz. But I know they are not. No body can make you see a pdoc, but if it gets worse you know where to go for help. You will have to get over your mistrust and learn to work with them. if your ok for now you are ok for now. jmo JLY
Asking a bunch of mentally ill strangers on the Net to diagnose you - what could possibly go wrong? You need to see real doctors. Good luck.
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Not asking a bunch of mentally ill to diagnose me just trying to get background and perspective from those who have been there. Many would call it research I call it learning from the wise.
I wanted to new a pilot bad when I was younger a pilot or aeronautical engineer were my goals but then life hit and it took everything I had to keep it from falling apart. Regardless, it fell apart more than once and I picked up the pieces to move on. Now, again, I have a good job and life and see the old symptoms coming back the precursor to what has happened before when things got bad. The panic attacks threw paranoia the weeks between showers or shaving the clinging to spritualistic ideals to justify my fears and the conspiracy against me. I struggle daily to hold back my temper and deal with others on their idea of what is real I constantly monitor what I say hoping that nowhere nobody thinks im crazy when I talk about the alternate examinations for aliens or why I’m so strong or so different from all of them I’ve searched diligently for years for something to put all the pieces together so I could understand what was happening. Like many I believed the myths about schizophrenia and counted myself out of it because I’m generally peaceful and kind when I can be but in light of new information I have to wonder.
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It could be SZ. It could be an infection in your brain. It could be a tumour. See a doctor and get the tests needed to rule other stuff out.
Welcome to the forum! I was considered a late bloomer and diagnosed with psychosis at 28 years old. The doctors were quite hesitant in diagnosing me with schizophrenia, but when they started realizing I wasn’t getting better with time despite sobriety well they didn’t have much choice. Like you I have had a string of diagnosis since a young age. I never got narcissistic but I did get defiance disorder which is the teenage equivalent. Personally I think the best one I ever received was complex post traumatic stress disorder. It’s not in the DSM but they are thinking of adding it. When a person undergoes “severe” trauma the symptoms start mimicking other disorders.
I have visions and oral communication now but it wasn’t like that at first. I wanted to expend my communicating with “God” “Aliens” “Plants.” I spent a lot of time just sitting there listening, trying to push my mind in that direction. I don’t push it to much now, it comes naturally. There were delusions that came with these as well which I did not have much control over. I like having sz because its my way to connect to things that a lot of people don’t know about. I don’t think that everything I hear is true, but it gives me some really cool ideas, theologies to look at. I hope this helps.
Schizophrenia is a spectrum disorder so it can vary with its scale of severity
Autism and Aspergers can also appear similar to schizophrenia with some of its symptoms
@Majic you are intelligent as you said and it sounds like you may be struggling with mental health issues so it is best to seek out a professional
Quick question about this site’s functionality,. Is everyone able to see direct responses made to posts or only responses to the general thread?
@Majic I had adolescent schizophrenia that developed into paranoid schizophrenia.
I would highly advise you to see a psychologist/psychiatrist.
Well, I didn’t read the part about hearing things. That’s a pretty common symptom, and I think you’d be certain of what you were hearing. It’s not important to believe everything conventional people believe. When I had symptoms in the beginning, I heard distinct statements and would feel like I would collapse from stressful things at work.
I am never sure what I hear but often it’s sounds and things that aren’t there sometimes my name or someone talking that I can’t understand but swear someone is taking to me. That’s the better end of what I’ve dealt with, previously I could hear everyone for blocks around me ask their arguments and discussions especially their pain I could literally feel the pain of the entire world for a while it was very hard and I had to learn to handle it
I have often thought that I may be on the autistic spectrum with only one thing separating me and that’s my ability to maintain eye contact
Yes thank you very much. It does help it prevents me from feeling as if it’s something I should be completely afraid of. I’m not sure always what’s true and what’s not but the things that may not be would require information from people far more educated and intelligent than I am. I do have amazing information and things regularly come to me that are possibly revolutionary but I never know for sure
you dont know if he needs them
Do you ever feel like people are trying to convey alternate meanings to words they say? Like they speak in a code? For me I feel like there is someone reading my mind and seeing the associations I make with certain words. It feels like beings possess other people and emphasize certain words that only I will understand, sorta like underlining text. For instance someone might say “want to come out” but I will hear “want to come OUT” and the association of out of the closet and sexuality will all happen. The voices often like to focus on sexual stuff for me, and political, or racial. For instance I can’t hear the word brother without thinking African American lately, or if someone says “you’re right” they’re calling me conservative even though I’m fairly liberal. There are many others but these are the most salient, everything starts to symbolize something. Color of someone’s shirt takes on meaning, sz happens on the verbal intelligence genome and as far as I can tell for me just beefs up my tendency to notice symbols be they real or imagined. Heck, there might really be a demon or nymph spirit following me around through possessing people, but it’s not practical for me to focus on or even notice it. I do hear audible voices but they mostly comment on things I think or say or do in our own little coded language, they might say “it is that” in my girlfriends voice to affirm my thought. Over time this can twist you up pretty bad. They might say “called it” in my moms voice or “that out” in some guy I met several times ten years ago’s voice. They’re weird. If you can function without pills and are happy by all means continue with happiness as long as nobody is getting hurt, but meds have saved my life. I get a little suicidal when I stare too deep into the abyss or eat the fruit of knowledge or what have you. I think mine has a mood component, but I’m dxed paranoid sz. Still high functioning though.
Oh I get there feels too. I call it a version of ‘clairsentience’ it’s a thing sorta like empath. Particularly sensitive to energy vampires. I feel like I feel people’s physical pain sometimes. And emotional and mental. My ankles once swelled up for no reason like I had diabetes but I don’t. Was bizarre. Three times their previous size, couldn’t put shoes on. Clairsentience is a thing.
Well, its possible you may have it then. I’ve found it’s mostly a health problem, with less symptoms when you’re healthier.